What's The Weirdest Thing You've Gotten Beat With?

Black people you know we were bad as hell growing up and our parents whipped us with everything but the kitchen sink... Well maybe the kitchen sink too depending on how bad you was messin up. We got whipped with everything from belts to shoes to neckties (that's not a light whipping either i know you're thinking.. Necktie?! How bad could that hurt? Trust me... You'd run too if yo mama was tryin to lasso it around your neck and yoke you back.

Anybody ever been whipped with the christmas tree lights? Imagine how bad you must've been to get whipped while the christmas tree is up. Most kids are good around the holidays because they want gifts and whatnot, but to have yo mama snatch a row of lights off the tree and whoop yo ass with it? You must've been bad!

There's the household items like the wooden spoon that hangs on the wall, the flyswatter, the extension cord, the spatula, the rubber hose that yo mama used to wash her hair.

There's the makeshift items for the asswhooping on the go like the switch, the seatbelt that was in the middle of the back seat, the fanbelt from the engine, a rolled up newspaper.

There's your toys like your jumprope, hoola hoop, hot wheels race track, your playstation controller, your ruler (try doing measurements when your ruler only goes up to 5 inches)

What's the absolute worst feeling though? When you done screwed up at home and yo mama tell you she gonna whoop your ass when she gets off. Boy that's the longest day ever, you start giving up on your hopes and dreams, you write a will, start saying bye to people. Cause you don't know when you'll see them again. Your mama never gets home on time either, unless you do something wrong. Any other day your mama is like 45 mins to 1 hr late gettin home, but on ass whooping day she's home at 5:05 on the dot; weapon of choice in hand too. You try calling friends to see if they can come over cause most mamas won't beat you if you have company, but they WILL beat you if you outside in front of all your friends. You call people asking them to come over. One friend will be like yeah man i'll be there in 10 mins. You'll be like NO nigga 4 minutes!! I might not be alive in 10 minutes she comin! Oh lord she here... Stay on the line if you hear me screaming call 911!

Another thing that'll get kids a permanent tic is when you have to walk past yo mama to get into your room and you don't know if she gonna hit you or not. You try to hug the wall like you're scaling a mountain or like you're trying to blend in with the paint. Then as soon as you get that 1 foot in the door you hit the spin move and you always think you made it... But then SMACK! Right in the back of the head. Sometimes i wish i had the doors from star trek that slide close automatically so i could just dive in and escape.

No wonder kids are going to college at a higher rate, you can't help but be perfect cause you were scared to death that yo mama might ninja through the door and také you out at any moment! That's why kids today have so many issues cause parents don't bring that fear anymore. You think i would've had two or three personalities? After all my ass whoopings the other personalities would've just left talkin bout "this chick crazy...cmon elvis, you, me, and jesus need to find somewhere else to live.

It's not so much the beating that scares you though.. It's the lead up to it and the follow-up afterwards. Our parents could psyche our asses out good. They start out by causing the anxiety.. They always tell you they gonna beat you before they do it so you're already scared to death, putting on layers of clothes so it won't hurt as much, walkin around with pajamas under your sweat pants with a trench coat on in the summertime and you know we ain't have no a/c back then. Then there's the ass whooping portion, then there's the aftermath, when yo mama comes to you and talks to you and wipes your tears away and gives you a hug and apologizes. Apologizes?!?! I was gonna run away, but now i'm conflicted. Thanks alot.. I think that's where alot of parents mess up.. They don't do the follow-up they just send the kids to their room and go drink a glass of wine. Meanwhile the kid is building a bomb to blow up the house.

Wow that was quite the flashback, but i wanna know what's the weirdest thing you've been whipped with people?