Okay, here's the premise for this rant. A couple of month ago I had a dream where I went out on a blind double date with some friends of mine (not real life friends, dream friends). They set me up with this girl named Heather. She was a really cool girl and very career driven and I thought we had a good time, but we never spoke again after the date. Last night I had a dream and guess who my "dream friends" invited along for a dinner run?? Heather! Now I'm in the dream all pissed off because me and this girl don't really like each other and here we are again out together. What makes it even worse is that my "dream friends" who are b/f and g/f sit at a two person table forcing Heather and I to sit by ourselves. Well of course Heather doesn't like me so she pulls up a chair to the two person table making me feel like an idiot because I was actually looking for another place to sit.
Anyways, all four of us are at the two person table and Heather and I aren't talking at all. Well I'm not, I'm busy munching on some chicken, bacon sandwich (Good taste even in my dreams!) I believe one of my "dream friends" asked Heather how come she doesn't come hang out anymore. I dunno why they asked her that! She launched into this tirade about how she's sooooo career driven and she doesn't have time for fun. She doesn't have time for guys because all they wanna do is play around and play video games and have babies. And she wants to be where she would be at age 32 by the time she's 26 or something like that. I took this as a direct offense and I put my chicken sandwich down and here's what I said to her (not verbatim of course, I don't remember everything, I added a bunch of thoughts from when I woke up) and I will say this to all the other "Heathers" out there!
Why can't you have it all?? Nobody is saying you can't be successful in the world, but you can't forget to enjoy your life. When you look back at everything you've accomplished, do you want to be the person who never went out to eat with her friends or couldn't play around with her friends? Why be so uptight and stubborn? Loosen up sometimes. There's nothing wrong with having fun. I know some women criticize some guys for playing video games or watching cartoons and things like that. Have you ever played a video game?!? They're incredible! Have you ever watched Looney Tunes as an adult?! You pick up on so much crazy stuff, like how Pepe Le Pew is the horniest cartoon character in the world, he never gets any. Enjoy yourself, don't get all pissy at your man if he throws you in the water at the beach... as long as he has the money to get your hair done over, no problem!
You only have one life, and I know that tomorrow isn't promised, but when you look back on your life would you rather have spent that time secluded away from society, constantly focusing on what you're going to do when you get older, and plotting on how to reach that plateau? Or would you rather have spent that time enjoying your life while getting to where you want to be in life? No wonder it's hard out here for successful women to find men. Some of you have forgotten how to have fun (I know it's not only women, some dudes are stick in the muds too, but that's another note). You look at any attempt to be silly and funny as being childish. I say who the hell said you can't act silly and goofy when you're an adult? Children these days are acing grown as hell, so why can't adults get in touch with the kid inside of them? It's okay to get excited about going places, I still get antsy when I go to Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion. I think women grow up too fast, that's why our little girls are fast in the pants because they wanna be grown. You wanna be where a 38 year old is when you're 25, but can you handle a 38 year old woman's responsibilities? Some can, others haven't had enough experiences to get to that point in life.
And stop calling guys who like to have fun "not a real man". Nobody wants to hear that. I look at it like this, as long as the guy takes care of his business and goes to work on Monday morning. Let him have fun! Maybe you should join him, it might improve your relationship.
The motto of this note isn't to discourage you ladies from chasing your dreams because you definitely are on the right paths, I'm just saying, quit being soooo overprotective about it. "no man is gonna stop me from reaching my goal". I'm not trying to, I don't know what foolish man would try to stop you, we just wanna pull you out of that bubble and get you to experience a different side of life for a few hours, we'll put you back in the bubble when the night's over, lol.
WOW! All that from a dream!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Good Men Aren't Hard To Find You Just Don't Know Where To Look
I hear this saying so much, that everytime I hear it, my blood pressure goes up. "Good men are hard to find".
Good guys aren't hard to find there's just so much pressure and stereotyping going on that's its hard for a good guy to prove that he's a good guy.
For one, some ladies have their priorities mixed up. Some, not all focus too much on the physical and the material, instead of looking at a persons spirit. If a guy is a hard worker and treats you like the queen that you are, why the hell does he need to drive a Benz? Or make 6 figures?
I understand that for some ladies, these are their "standards" and they don't want to "lower their standards" and I'm not asking you to, just to prioritize because I know some good dudes that work everyday 9 to 5 in a warehouse that'll treat you better than a dude who makes mad money and drives a brand new car.
Some Women are being way too unforgiving lately. I know its that whole "I'm independent and I can do bad all by myself" movement and Beyonce and Keyshia Cole have made it popular to diss dudes, but that's music, not real life. In real life, guys make mistakes, ladies make mistakes and just because a dude makes you upset doesn't mean you should dump him or treat him like dirt. Some women and men too...are quick to ditch someone they really care about over a petty argument. This tyler perry generation makes me sick. It was bad enough with Waiting To Exhale, now Tyler is exploring the extremes of manhood with his movies. Either the man is the flawless, knight in shining armor or the scum of the Earth, no in between. And some women believe what they see in movies and what they hear in songs. What sucks is that most guys are in between. So a negative move on the guys part equates to being scum.
Some ladies think that they need a guy equal to them as far as education and income. While it may be true that men make more money than women, more women than men are graduating from college so the opportunities for vast income are better for women. Not every guy is going to be a college grad like you and not every college grad is a good man. Some of the cruelest men are men who work in corporate America. Some women make it hard for guys. Not everyone can afford college, just because a man isn't college educated doesn't mean he's not intelligent and can't match your intellect. I know dudes that never set foot in college that know more about the world and life than me.
I feel like I've said all these things before...
This is my opinion though, you never hear guys complaining that there are no good women around because I think (this doesn't mean its a fact) that men are more accepting and women are more judgemental. So I say ladies, take a man's advice for once "Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man" - Steve Harvey
Good guys aren't hard to find there's just so much pressure and stereotyping going on that's its hard for a good guy to prove that he's a good guy.
For one, some ladies have their priorities mixed up. Some, not all focus too much on the physical and the material, instead of looking at a persons spirit. If a guy is a hard worker and treats you like the queen that you are, why the hell does he need to drive a Benz? Or make 6 figures?
I understand that for some ladies, these are their "standards" and they don't want to "lower their standards" and I'm not asking you to, just to prioritize because I know some good dudes that work everyday 9 to 5 in a warehouse that'll treat you better than a dude who makes mad money and drives a brand new car.
Some Women are being way too unforgiving lately. I know its that whole "I'm independent and I can do bad all by myself" movement and Beyonce and Keyshia Cole have made it popular to diss dudes, but that's music, not real life. In real life, guys make mistakes, ladies make mistakes and just because a dude makes you upset doesn't mean you should dump him or treat him like dirt. Some women and men too...are quick to ditch someone they really care about over a petty argument. This tyler perry generation makes me sick. It was bad enough with Waiting To Exhale, now Tyler is exploring the extremes of manhood with his movies. Either the man is the flawless, knight in shining armor or the scum of the Earth, no in between. And some women believe what they see in movies and what they hear in songs. What sucks is that most guys are in between. So a negative move on the guys part equates to being scum.
Some ladies think that they need a guy equal to them as far as education and income. While it may be true that men make more money than women, more women than men are graduating from college so the opportunities for vast income are better for women. Not every guy is going to be a college grad like you and not every college grad is a good man. Some of the cruelest men are men who work in corporate America. Some women make it hard for guys. Not everyone can afford college, just because a man isn't college educated doesn't mean he's not intelligent and can't match your intellect. I know dudes that never set foot in college that know more about the world and life than me.
I feel like I've said all these things before...
This is my opinion though, you never hear guys complaining that there are no good women around because I think (this doesn't mean its a fact) that men are more accepting and women are more judgemental. So I say ladies, take a man's advice for once "Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man" - Steve Harvey
So...How Much?
This is going out to all those people out there who sag their pants. The kids I work with were visited by a police officer who did that scared straight kind of presentation. One of the ladies was particularly annoyed with the kids sagging their pants so she asked the cop to tell them where that started. He proceeded to tell them where sagging your pants originated.
For those of you who don't know, it started in prison and its a signal to other inmates that you're sexually available. He said that what's even funnier is that he tells the kids what it means and they STILL do it. Is it cool to imitate prison behavior? Because if you want to be in prison, its easy enough to get there.
So why is the trend of sagging pants so popular in such a homophobic society? You'd think that fad wouldve died, but no because rappers do it, ironically a good portion of rappers have been to jail...do you think they sagged their pants in prison? I bet the waistline of their pants met the waistlines on their body, either that or they had Big Bubba breathing on their neck.
I'm particularly irritated by this consistent ignorance. So I make it my business to ask the kids I work with "how much?" When I see their pants sagging. They pull them up quick, fast, and in a hurry. I understand these rappers make everything cool, but there are some things that are just destructive to us as a people and that is one of them. So I ask all you young guys out there, now that you know what sagging means (in case you didn't see above) will you still sag your pants? If so why??
Inquiring mind wanna know..
My remedy..ask "how much" and see how quick the pants come up, don't do it to some stranger though, don't wanna end up getting shot or something... Its just a PSA for you people who are as tired of this trend as I am.
For those of you who don't know, it started in prison and its a signal to other inmates that you're sexually available. He said that what's even funnier is that he tells the kids what it means and they STILL do it. Is it cool to imitate prison behavior? Because if you want to be in prison, its easy enough to get there.
So why is the trend of sagging pants so popular in such a homophobic society? You'd think that fad wouldve died, but no because rappers do it, ironically a good portion of rappers have been to jail...do you think they sagged their pants in prison? I bet the waistline of their pants met the waistlines on their body, either that or they had Big Bubba breathing on their neck.
I'm particularly irritated by this consistent ignorance. So I make it my business to ask the kids I work with "how much?" When I see their pants sagging. They pull them up quick, fast, and in a hurry. I understand these rappers make everything cool, but there are some things that are just destructive to us as a people and that is one of them. So I ask all you young guys out there, now that you know what sagging means (in case you didn't see above) will you still sag your pants? If so why??
Inquiring mind wanna know..
My remedy..ask "how much" and see how quick the pants come up, don't do it to some stranger though, don't wanna end up getting shot or something... Its just a PSA for you people who are as tired of this trend as I am.
Ever Wonder Why This Is A Man's World?
This is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothin without a woman.
Do you ever wonder why?
I had this moment of clarity where I have the majority of my moments, in the bathroom. However, this time I was taking a nice, hot, steamy shhh...ower.
Look at the world, everything is given to men. We get paid more, better jobs all because we're men. People assume we take care of the household just because we're men. Everything is given to men, which is why this is a man's world. The only thing that isn't given to a man just because he's a man is a woman. That's why this world wouldn't be anything without you.
Men have conquered damn near everything, but one mystery still exists, women. We don't know what you want, don't know how you think, don't know what to do with you or without you. All we know is that we want you. A woman isn't going to be yours just because you're a man. You have to have something going for yourself. You don't necessarily need to be a baller or a doctor, just have something that sets you aside from other men. This is where the world gets complicated.
It's not that men don't appreciate women it's just that we don't understand you and having everything at our fingertips is a luxury, so when that luxury is taken from us, it frustrates us. Have you ever been trying to figure out a difficult math problem and you get so frustrated that you take your book and fling it across the room? That's kind of how men deal with women. When things are difficult and we don't understand, we fling you across the room. However, when we calm down and realize that if we had taken time to actually read the chapter before we jumped to the questions (a little metaphor there), that the answer would've been clear all along.
Us men, we try to hide what we're feeling because we're so used to being on top of the world that we can't take it when we're not so we bury our feelings. We'll move on to another subject that we know we're good at. We'll try to do our history, but you don't think that in the back of our minds we're still not thinking about how much of a loser we feel like for not being able to figure out that math work? Well we do.
I still don't know how to figure out that math problem, but you know what? I haven't given up.
Just my random rant, showers bring out the best in me.
Do you ever wonder why?
I had this moment of clarity where I have the majority of my moments, in the bathroom. However, this time I was taking a nice, hot, steamy shhh...ower.
Look at the world, everything is given to men. We get paid more, better jobs all because we're men. People assume we take care of the household just because we're men. Everything is given to men, which is why this is a man's world. The only thing that isn't given to a man just because he's a man is a woman. That's why this world wouldn't be anything without you.
Men have conquered damn near everything, but one mystery still exists, women. We don't know what you want, don't know how you think, don't know what to do with you or without you. All we know is that we want you. A woman isn't going to be yours just because you're a man. You have to have something going for yourself. You don't necessarily need to be a baller or a doctor, just have something that sets you aside from other men. This is where the world gets complicated.
It's not that men don't appreciate women it's just that we don't understand you and having everything at our fingertips is a luxury, so when that luxury is taken from us, it frustrates us. Have you ever been trying to figure out a difficult math problem and you get so frustrated that you take your book and fling it across the room? That's kind of how men deal with women. When things are difficult and we don't understand, we fling you across the room. However, when we calm down and realize that if we had taken time to actually read the chapter before we jumped to the questions (a little metaphor there), that the answer would've been clear all along.
Us men, we try to hide what we're feeling because we're so used to being on top of the world that we can't take it when we're not so we bury our feelings. We'll move on to another subject that we know we're good at. We'll try to do our history, but you don't think that in the back of our minds we're still not thinking about how much of a loser we feel like for not being able to figure out that math work? Well we do.
I still don't know how to figure out that math problem, but you know what? I haven't given up.
Just my random rant, showers bring out the best in me.
Amazing How The Weather Can Affect Our Emotions
Its funny how the weather effects the way we feel. When the weather is sunny and bright, we feel good, we want to go places, we like to smile. However, the contrary exists when the weather is bad. We feel bad, we get down, we remember all the bad times. Its no accident that its always dark and gloomy in movies whenever there's a funeral or a breakup. The weather helps capture the mood and in the process our mood is captured and transformed. Its amazing that people can have the exact same events happen to them and they'll rate the sunny day as a "better day" than a rainy or gloomy day.
Its not a coincidence that most people break up in the winter time and new relationships start in the spring.
Wow...as I'm sitting here in my car typing this Angie Stone's song "my sunshine has come" just came on the radio. That's such a feel good song, but listen to a song like "rain on me" by ashanti or "I wish it would rain" by the temptations and you feel down.
Why do we regard the rain as such a negative event. I love the sound of the rain and I find lightening fascinating.
Even though I am aware of the effect the weather has on my mood, I still fall victim to the circumstances. I feel gloomy when it rains and energetic when its sunny. Its probably one of those mysteries about humans that we'll never understand.
Its not a coincidence that most people break up in the winter time and new relationships start in the spring.
Wow...as I'm sitting here in my car typing this Angie Stone's song "my sunshine has come" just came on the radio. That's such a feel good song, but listen to a song like "rain on me" by ashanti or "I wish it would rain" by the temptations and you feel down.
Why do we regard the rain as such a negative event. I love the sound of the rain and I find lightening fascinating.
Even though I am aware of the effect the weather has on my mood, I still fall victim to the circumstances. I feel gloomy when it rains and energetic when its sunny. Its probably one of those mysteries about humans that we'll never understand.
Emotions: Mankind's Greatest Mystery
Emotions of the greatest mystery of mankind. It's something that will never ever be solved because emotions defy logic and reason.
We know that it is not okay to murder people, but something triggers our basic instincts when we see someone we love making love to someone else and we snap. That's what people call "crimes of passion". There are no logical reasons to kill someone who is cheating on us.
Emotions are dangerous which is why there are counselors and therapists out there to help people manage their emotions and express them. Emotions can be like diseases, people have had heart attacks over divorces. If you let emotions sit inside you and burn up your insides it can be just as fatal as having cancer. When people are having a stressful day, the body releases cholesterol to lube up the body and make it loose just in case we have to fight or make a hasty get away. However, when this cholesterol sits for days and days it turns into bad cholesterol which can clog your arteries, which can cause death. So holding your emotions in, is like eating a pound of grease.
People always want to learn stress management techniques, but they don't want to learn ways to reduce the amount of stress they can handle. They want to be able to maximize their stress threshold so they can handle more and more stress. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Why not reduce your threshold for stress and be able to get rid of the little bit of stress that you're carrying instead of being able to pile on stressor after stressor. Eventually you'll run out of space to store your stress and that can be dangerous!
So this is my public service announcement for all you people out there. Do not hold in your feelings of anger, shame, resentment, fear, and embarrassment. Let them out, even if you're only talking to a stuffed animal. Just don't hold in those emotions because it can lead to really severe illnesses.
We know that it is not okay to murder people, but something triggers our basic instincts when we see someone we love making love to someone else and we snap. That's what people call "crimes of passion". There are no logical reasons to kill someone who is cheating on us.
Emotions are dangerous which is why there are counselors and therapists out there to help people manage their emotions and express them. Emotions can be like diseases, people have had heart attacks over divorces. If you let emotions sit inside you and burn up your insides it can be just as fatal as having cancer. When people are having a stressful day, the body releases cholesterol to lube up the body and make it loose just in case we have to fight or make a hasty get away. However, when this cholesterol sits for days and days it turns into bad cholesterol which can clog your arteries, which can cause death. So holding your emotions in, is like eating a pound of grease.
People always want to learn stress management techniques, but they don't want to learn ways to reduce the amount of stress they can handle. They want to be able to maximize their stress threshold so they can handle more and more stress. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Why not reduce your threshold for stress and be able to get rid of the little bit of stress that you're carrying instead of being able to pile on stressor after stressor. Eventually you'll run out of space to store your stress and that can be dangerous!
So this is my public service announcement for all you people out there. Do not hold in your feelings of anger, shame, resentment, fear, and embarrassment. Let them out, even if you're only talking to a stuffed animal. Just don't hold in those emotions because it can lead to really severe illnesses.
A Story To Tell: Trying Too Hard
I got a story to tell. The story is one that many of us can relate to.
The story is about a guy who has just met a girl whom he is trying to impress. He's very careful to manage his temper, ensure that no explicit songs pop up on his mp3 player while they're riding in the car, and makes sure not to try to say anything to offend the young lady.
The first one is rather simple because he likes the girl so the things she says or jokingly talks about the wrinkles in his clothes he can brush off. The second and third prove to be the greatest testament of all time. As soon as he gets into the car and turns on the radio the most disrespectful, misogynistic song comes on and it's not one where you can catch it before the cursing starts, it's one of the songs that comes on like F*CK B*TCHES!! So in a nervous laugh, he quickly switches to the radio where at least he can blame the radio station for playing a random song. It seems like everything this guy says only seems to irritate and annoy this young lady, even though the guy thinks he's screening his language so that it's more user friendly, he actually comes off like he's arrogant and stiff which serves to push her away.
The guy is a decent guy, but the woman says that they clash, quickly trying to plead with her that he's not trying to offend her, they re-establish rapport. He disregards any and every negative jab at his character and agrees with everything she says as to not start conflict. Then it dons on him... why is he trying so hard?
This guy goes through hell to try to please the young lady and it still is like he's moving in reverse with her. That's when he comes to the conclusion that women don't need men.
Have you ever gotten angry with your g/f fellas? Doesn't it seem hard to get angry with her because you kind of feel like she's gonna be like whatever and not speak to you again, so you take it... you take the nagging, the annoyances, and the irritations. You even agree to things that you normally wouldn't, all because you're trying to stay on her good side.
Fellas, tell your girls if you don't agree with her or if something she does bothers you. Rather it be out in the open now than to wait until it boils over and turns into a huge argument over nothing. Stress kills, no point in causing more stress in your life. So fellas tell ladies what's on your mind. If she can't appreciate it, then no point wasting time pretending that everything is A-Okay might as well keep it pushing.
-Roderic
The story is about a guy who has just met a girl whom he is trying to impress. He's very careful to manage his temper, ensure that no explicit songs pop up on his mp3 player while they're riding in the car, and makes sure not to try to say anything to offend the young lady.
The first one is rather simple because he likes the girl so the things she says or jokingly talks about the wrinkles in his clothes he can brush off. The second and third prove to be the greatest testament of all time. As soon as he gets into the car and turns on the radio the most disrespectful, misogynistic song comes on and it's not one where you can catch it before the cursing starts, it's one of the songs that comes on like F*CK B*TCHES!! So in a nervous laugh, he quickly switches to the radio where at least he can blame the radio station for playing a random song. It seems like everything this guy says only seems to irritate and annoy this young lady, even though the guy thinks he's screening his language so that it's more user friendly, he actually comes off like he's arrogant and stiff which serves to push her away.
The guy is a decent guy, but the woman says that they clash, quickly trying to plead with her that he's not trying to offend her, they re-establish rapport. He disregards any and every negative jab at his character and agrees with everything she says as to not start conflict. Then it dons on him... why is he trying so hard?
This guy goes through hell to try to please the young lady and it still is like he's moving in reverse with her. That's when he comes to the conclusion that women don't need men.
Have you ever gotten angry with your g/f fellas? Doesn't it seem hard to get angry with her because you kind of feel like she's gonna be like whatever and not speak to you again, so you take it... you take the nagging, the annoyances, and the irritations. You even agree to things that you normally wouldn't, all because you're trying to stay on her good side.
Fellas, tell your girls if you don't agree with her or if something she does bothers you. Rather it be out in the open now than to wait until it boils over and turns into a huge argument over nothing. Stress kills, no point in causing more stress in your life. So fellas tell ladies what's on your mind. If she can't appreciate it, then no point wasting time pretending that everything is A-Okay might as well keep it pushing.
-Roderic
Our Purpose
What is our purpose? Why are we placed on this planet called Earth? Why were were chosen to be human instead of antelope or a blade of grass?
Some people think that humans have such a great and wonderful reason for being placed on this planet. Call me pessimistic, but I don't really think so.
When we are born we start to die. This isn't just for humans, it's for all living things. There is no expiration date and yet many of us live our lives like there is some great light at the end of the tunnel. What if you weren't meant to be that doctor or lawyer, that's just where you ended up, but your real purpose was to give change to the homeless man at 7-11 when you were 19 years old?
What if it was that man's purpose to be a dog to you so you'd learn to respect yourself as a woman and find that guy that was truly right for you?
What if your purpose was to have that one child by the abusive husband?
I'm saying this... nowhere does it say we have to leave a legacy behind directly with our lives. What if the bum you gave the 1 dollar to used it to buy a lottery ticket and won 10,000 dollars, enough to feed his family and find a decent place to live.
What if the baby you gave birth to from the abusive husband grew up to become the next president of the united states?
I'm saying that to say this, we don't always have to leave our stamp on this world, sometimes it's the littlest things that will yield the biggest benefits. Don't think that you have to be the greatest whatever in the world. Do what makes you happy and when you discover your purpose on the world, embrace it, don't run away from it.
This has been a Roderic Williams Public Service Announcement!
Some people think that humans have such a great and wonderful reason for being placed on this planet. Call me pessimistic, but I don't really think so.
When we are born we start to die. This isn't just for humans, it's for all living things. There is no expiration date and yet many of us live our lives like there is some great light at the end of the tunnel. What if you weren't meant to be that doctor or lawyer, that's just where you ended up, but your real purpose was to give change to the homeless man at 7-11 when you were 19 years old?
What if it was that man's purpose to be a dog to you so you'd learn to respect yourself as a woman and find that guy that was truly right for you?
What if your purpose was to have that one child by the abusive husband?
I'm saying this... nowhere does it say we have to leave a legacy behind directly with our lives. What if the bum you gave the 1 dollar to used it to buy a lottery ticket and won 10,000 dollars, enough to feed his family and find a decent place to live.
What if the baby you gave birth to from the abusive husband grew up to become the next president of the united states?
I'm saying that to say this, we don't always have to leave our stamp on this world, sometimes it's the littlest things that will yield the biggest benefits. Don't think that you have to be the greatest whatever in the world. Do what makes you happy and when you discover your purpose on the world, embrace it, don't run away from it.
This has been a Roderic Williams Public Service Announcement!
What's Wrong With Men?
I hear this question all the time from women, since I'm usually dubbed the eternal "platonic friend" women like to pick my brain sometimes in hopes of unlocking the mystery of a man's rationale.
I always get the question, "Rod, why are all men dogs?" First off, you're being inclusive when you ask that question, and if I attempt to answer it, I'm just reinforcing the fact that you basically just asked me why am I a dog too. Hell, I don't know why guys fool around, they've been doing it since before I was born and they'll likely continue after I'm gone and I bet there are one million different reasons why each man has fooled around. Not saying that it's right, but there's no simple solution to the question.
"Rod how come men are afraid of commitment?" Aha! Finally a question I can partially answer. Now I'm not speaking for all men, but from my experiences, this is what I've come up with. Different people go through different stages of life at different moments. Just like they say women mature faster than men, (which I believe is some BS but that's a completely different note, lol) and this is known so instead of being patient ladies what do you do? You try to overrationalize the situation, attempt to entice us with offers, and generally persuade a guy to do something when maturity wise, he may not be there yet. Not saying that a guy is less of a man because he's not necessarily ready to commit, we just take longer to get to that phase. Think of it like math classes. Some people progress through math at different times. While yall might be flying through the math classes Algebra I no problem, Algebra II, no problem, Geometry no problem; we might get caught up in Algebra I and might have to take longer to reach Geometry. Guys have a very long adolescent phase, and it's a fun time. Whereas yall might be ready for marriage and kids at 22, we might be ready for a girlfriend. And it's not that guys are afraid of commitment, we're just not trying to mess up a good thing. Like hey, we've been going out for over a year and it's beautiful, but now you wanna move in together. There are plenty of things that could spoil the good times we've had by moving in together and believe or not ladies were actually thinking about you when we don't rush into big commitments like that because we don't want to mess things up by jumping into something before we're actually ready.
"Rod, how come he acts like he doesn't care when I'm upset?" Okay, half the time we don't even know when you're upset. We ask, "what's wrong?" and most of the time yall will say "nothing". So we're thinking, okay, whatever, she said nothing. If something is wrong ladies, do us all a favor and TELL US! We don't read minds. We don't completely understand female body language. So make it easy on yourselves and the guys by just telling us your side. And don't start off by being accusatory, because then we'll get defensive and it'll turn into an argument. Guys don't like to argue, believe it or not. That's why we're like screw it, you wanna leave, there's the door. That's another issue too. Don't threaten to leave a guy when you're having a petty argument. I'm at the point now where I'll say... hey if you wanna leave, then leave and don't come back 3 hours later talking about "can we talk" because I gave you free reign to express yourself and YOU chose to say nothing so don't get upset with me. So the short answer to that question is, it's not that we don't care, it's just that you don't come off very sympathetic. We want to care, we'll sit down and listen to your side and try to process what you're saying. Just don't come at us like everything we do is wrong wrong wrong because who the hell wants to hear that about themselves constantly?
Now I may be playing devil's advocate, but these are the questions you ask, so don't be mad at the answers you hear, if you didn't wanna know, you shouldn't have asked.
I always get the question, "Rod, why are all men dogs?" First off, you're being inclusive when you ask that question, and if I attempt to answer it, I'm just reinforcing the fact that you basically just asked me why am I a dog too. Hell, I don't know why guys fool around, they've been doing it since before I was born and they'll likely continue after I'm gone and I bet there are one million different reasons why each man has fooled around. Not saying that it's right, but there's no simple solution to the question.
"Rod how come men are afraid of commitment?" Aha! Finally a question I can partially answer. Now I'm not speaking for all men, but from my experiences, this is what I've come up with. Different people go through different stages of life at different moments. Just like they say women mature faster than men, (which I believe is some BS but that's a completely different note, lol) and this is known so instead of being patient ladies what do you do? You try to overrationalize the situation, attempt to entice us with offers, and generally persuade a guy to do something when maturity wise, he may not be there yet. Not saying that a guy is less of a man because he's not necessarily ready to commit, we just take longer to get to that phase. Think of it like math classes. Some people progress through math at different times. While yall might be flying through the math classes Algebra I no problem, Algebra II, no problem, Geometry no problem; we might get caught up in Algebra I and might have to take longer to reach Geometry. Guys have a very long adolescent phase, and it's a fun time. Whereas yall might be ready for marriage and kids at 22, we might be ready for a girlfriend. And it's not that guys are afraid of commitment, we're just not trying to mess up a good thing. Like hey, we've been going out for over a year and it's beautiful, but now you wanna move in together. There are plenty of things that could spoil the good times we've had by moving in together and believe or not ladies were actually thinking about you when we don't rush into big commitments like that because we don't want to mess things up by jumping into something before we're actually ready.
"Rod, how come he acts like he doesn't care when I'm upset?" Okay, half the time we don't even know when you're upset. We ask, "what's wrong?" and most of the time yall will say "nothing". So we're thinking, okay, whatever, she said nothing. If something is wrong ladies, do us all a favor and TELL US! We don't read minds. We don't completely understand female body language. So make it easy on yourselves and the guys by just telling us your side. And don't start off by being accusatory, because then we'll get defensive and it'll turn into an argument. Guys don't like to argue, believe it or not. That's why we're like screw it, you wanna leave, there's the door. That's another issue too. Don't threaten to leave a guy when you're having a petty argument. I'm at the point now where I'll say... hey if you wanna leave, then leave and don't come back 3 hours later talking about "can we talk" because I gave you free reign to express yourself and YOU chose to say nothing so don't get upset with me. So the short answer to that question is, it's not that we don't care, it's just that you don't come off very sympathetic. We want to care, we'll sit down and listen to your side and try to process what you're saying. Just don't come at us like everything we do is wrong wrong wrong because who the hell wants to hear that about themselves constantly?
Now I may be playing devil's advocate, but these are the questions you ask, so don't be mad at the answers you hear, if you didn't wanna know, you shouldn't have asked.
The Dateable Rules: For The Ladies
Okay, so I started reading this book called "the dateable rules" and its about how men and women interact when they date and blah blah. So the beginning of the book starts off by saying the guys should ask the ladies 5 questions that they wanna know about women and vice versa. So I shall once again open up the floor to the ladies to ask 5 questions to me and I'll answer them. I will also ask my 5. Here they are:
1. If guys think about sex every 5 seconds, how often do women think about sex? And do you enjoy sex as much as men do?
2. What is your definition of a "good man" and a "dog"?
3. How come you don't like other women?
4. Can men and women just be friends? And would you date any of your male friends?
5. Do you think we'll ever understand one another? Why or why not?
I have others, but these questions will suffice. So let's hear those answers ladies!
1. If guys think about sex every 5 seconds, how often do women think about sex? And do you enjoy sex as much as men do?
2. What is your definition of a "good man" and a "dog"?
3. How come you don't like other women?
4. Can men and women just be friends? And would you date any of your male friends?
5. Do you think we'll ever understand one another? Why or why not?
I have others, but these questions will suffice. So let's hear those answers ladies!
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