Is it possible to forgive your significant other after they have knowingly cheated on you? This is one question that I think most people in relationships won't know the answer to until they have that experience. Many people can say "If he/she cheats on me I'm gone!" However, love is a powerful emotion, it'll make the most logical of people do some of the most uncharacteristic things in the world (trust me I've been there). In most cases there are precipitating factors that most significant others fail to see. If you and your significant other aren't talking or seeing each other as much, that can lead some some straying away from their loyalty. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but you have to take care of a relationship like you would a pet. You have to check on it constantly, feed it, keep it healthy, talk to it, and sometimes do things you don't want to do in order to keep it satisfied. if you don't take care of a pet, then what happens? It dies... same as a relationship. If you don't take care of your relationship, then you can't get mad when someone else picks up your slack.
I'm saying that to say this, most of the time adultery is not precipitated (I say most, because some people are just animals and will sleep with anything with 2 legs), it's when the current relationship is lacking something and neither party communicates this to the other.
So the question is asked again, can you forgive after a partner cheats on you? I think people should forgive, I'm not saying that you have to stay in a relationship with that person, but forgiveness is essential. It acknowledges that you have put the pain behind you and can move on as a person and won't hold that hurt inside.
Forgiveness is essential if you stay with the partner who had an affair because if you don't forgive them and you stay with them, then there will never be any trust in the relationship and anytime your suspicions peak, you will more than likely accuse that person of cheating again and start an argument. Also, some people are vindictive and they feel, if you cheated on me, then I can cheat on you and they will go have meaningless sex with someone they may not even care about just to dish out the pain that you gave to them.
Forgiveness is essential if you don't stay with that person because you may be the type of person who believes that if one partner cheats, then another partner will cheat and you may take your issues of mistrust from a previous relationship and project that onto a person who may have no intention of ever having an affair and you don't need those kind of issues in the beginning of a relationship.
So, again I ask, can YOU forgive a partner after they have an affair? Even though it may be beneficial to you to do so, the answer is still up to you.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sex And The Double Standard
There's this double standard that exists, everyone knows what it is I'm referring to; the double standard that says men can sleep with whomever they please and it's just considered being a "man" while women get labeled because of their sexual freedom or lack there of. If a woman is comfortable with her sexuality and feel comfortable enough to express herself physically with someone, then she's labeled a "whore" or "easy", whereas if a woman isn't easy enough, then she's labeled "stuck up".
Where is the balance? It seems that there is no winning for women. Either you're going to give it up to the sexually hungry man and be called easy, or you're going to make him wait and be called a prude.
My opinion is that men don't control sexual relations, so it's our job to make women feel horrible about their sexuality. If you don't believe that women control sex, just watch how guys act when they're turned down for sex. Let's say a guy is at the bar with a young lady and they've been talking and the man asks the woman back to his apartment and the woman says no. The man immediately gets defensive, he may call her a name, and he walks away fuming. If we (men) could have sex whenever we wanted to have sex, then women would approach us for sex. If that were to happen, then I doubt there would be a double standard attached to women. One thing about guys is that we're very sly and very vengeful. We'll try every angle to get what we want even if it involves deceit.
I can just imagine the very first time the double standard was used to coerce a woman into having sex with a man.
Woman: "Honey I don't really want to have sex"
Man: "Cmon dear, (dramatic pause) don't be such a prude!"
Woman: "A what?"
Man: "(maniacal laughter in his head) A prude dear, someone who thinks that she is so much better than everyone else that she has to have her own way all the time."
Woman: "I'm no prude!"
Man: "(smiles) prove it..."
*Several minutes later*
Man: Well that was *easy*... (light bulb goes off)
That's my interpretation of how the double standard was invented... it was invented as a desperation act by men to have sex with a woman.
Anybody have any comments for that?
Where is the balance? It seems that there is no winning for women. Either you're going to give it up to the sexually hungry man and be called easy, or you're going to make him wait and be called a prude.
My opinion is that men don't control sexual relations, so it's our job to make women feel horrible about their sexuality. If you don't believe that women control sex, just watch how guys act when they're turned down for sex. Let's say a guy is at the bar with a young lady and they've been talking and the man asks the woman back to his apartment and the woman says no. The man immediately gets defensive, he may call her a name, and he walks away fuming. If we (men) could have sex whenever we wanted to have sex, then women would approach us for sex. If that were to happen, then I doubt there would be a double standard attached to women. One thing about guys is that we're very sly and very vengeful. We'll try every angle to get what we want even if it involves deceit.
I can just imagine the very first time the double standard was used to coerce a woman into having sex with a man.
Woman: "Honey I don't really want to have sex"
Man: "Cmon dear, (dramatic pause) don't be such a prude!"
Woman: "A what?"
Man: "(maniacal laughter in his head) A prude dear, someone who thinks that she is so much better than everyone else that she has to have her own way all the time."
Woman: "I'm no prude!"
Man: "(smiles) prove it..."
*Several minutes later*
Man: Well that was *easy*... (light bulb goes off)
That's my interpretation of how the double standard was invented... it was invented as a desperation act by men to have sex with a woman.
Anybody have any comments for that?
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Respect Yourself Ladies
This was kind of the theme for tonight, lol.
I try not to get on the ladies too much about certain things because you like to use the "women are more mature than guys" card. Which is true sometimes...but other times you ladies make me shake my head!
You have to start respecting yourself ladies, or no man will respect you. You wonder why he doesn't call you back, doesn't answer your texts? It's because he doesn't have any respect for you, time to keep it moving don't make yourself look desperate by calling him from your friend's phone to see if he answers, you're just doing too much for 1 person. Try working that hard to gain your own respect rather than some guy's.
Stop giving it up to just anyone and so easily! Women your body's are the temples. You're the one's that are desired, so stop making the chase so easy. If someone gives us a free sandwich everyday, we're gonna love that sandwich for awhile, until we see a new restaurant open up, sure it costs some money, but it's new and we know that if we don't like the food, we'll always have that sandwich, the bottom line is, we lose respect for the sandwich, which is what's happening to you ladies. Now they may not be calling you hoes and sluts as much anymore, but the next gen names are no better; jumpoff, bird, duck, etc.
Guys you don't have a reason to be upset either. I'm not trying to playa hate or block. I'm just saying, what if you have a daughter. Do you want your daughter being some dude's jumpoff? Hell no! I have female cousins. I WHOLE slew of them. I'll be damned if I let a dude disrespect them because they know that before anything else they need to respect themselves. I'm trying to just encourage the ladies to respect themselves more. Don't look for validation from a dude. Some people think nights by yourself are always lonely, well let me tell you, there's nothing lonelier being next to someone who doesn't respect you. At least if you have self-respect, you know you'll be appreciated by someone in the morning. And another thing fellas, everything you do to women comes back around 3 times. So just think about that!
So ladies just think before you act, I'm not dissing you or anything I'm just saying. It's cool to dress sexy, it's NOT cool to wear booty shorts where the booty is actually hanging out. It's cool to dance with the guys, it's NOT cool to give lap dances and hump the dude on the ground. Are you in college to be a teacher or to be a stripper?
-Think. It ain't illegal yet.
-Roderic
I try not to get on the ladies too much about certain things because you like to use the "women are more mature than guys" card. Which is true sometimes...but other times you ladies make me shake my head!
You have to start respecting yourself ladies, or no man will respect you. You wonder why he doesn't call you back, doesn't answer your texts? It's because he doesn't have any respect for you, time to keep it moving don't make yourself look desperate by calling him from your friend's phone to see if he answers, you're just doing too much for 1 person. Try working that hard to gain your own respect rather than some guy's.
Stop giving it up to just anyone and so easily! Women your body's are the temples. You're the one's that are desired, so stop making the chase so easy. If someone gives us a free sandwich everyday, we're gonna love that sandwich for awhile, until we see a new restaurant open up, sure it costs some money, but it's new and we know that if we don't like the food, we'll always have that sandwich, the bottom line is, we lose respect for the sandwich, which is what's happening to you ladies. Now they may not be calling you hoes and sluts as much anymore, but the next gen names are no better; jumpoff, bird, duck, etc.
Guys you don't have a reason to be upset either. I'm not trying to playa hate or block. I'm just saying, what if you have a daughter. Do you want your daughter being some dude's jumpoff? Hell no! I have female cousins. I WHOLE slew of them. I'll be damned if I let a dude disrespect them because they know that before anything else they need to respect themselves. I'm trying to just encourage the ladies to respect themselves more. Don't look for validation from a dude. Some people think nights by yourself are always lonely, well let me tell you, there's nothing lonelier being next to someone who doesn't respect you. At least if you have self-respect, you know you'll be appreciated by someone in the morning. And another thing fellas, everything you do to women comes back around 3 times. So just think about that!
So ladies just think before you act, I'm not dissing you or anything I'm just saying. It's cool to dress sexy, it's NOT cool to wear booty shorts where the booty is actually hanging out. It's cool to dance with the guys, it's NOT cool to give lap dances and hump the dude on the ground. Are you in college to be a teacher or to be a stripper?
-Think. It ain't illegal yet.
-Roderic
A Word On Confidence
Oftentimes we reach a point where we base how we feel about ourselves on what other people say about us. Like when did someone elses validation really matter? But we all do it, we feel crappy because someone said something bad about us, whether it's true or not. In reality, only one person's opinion of you should matter and that's your own. That's why we have people who everyone else thinks is "ugly" out here pulling all these women. It's because Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! And that eye should be your own. People tell themselves that they're attractive and other people start believing it. If you can portray something convincingly enough, you can get anyone to believe anything.
Confidence is the key word. Confidence goes a long way...I mean even Steve Urkel ended up marrying Laura because he was confident in himself no matter how many people put him down. (Us geeks gotta stick together!)
One thing that happens is that people get discouraged with being who they are, so they try to be someone else. But the thing is, you can't be anyone but yourself. You were made the way you were made for a reason and that makes you unique. Don't try to get breasts like Pamela Anderson, that's her role in life, not yours. I've learned to accept my flaws, and continue to accept the new flaws I discover. I know that I'm shy, I can't dance, I can't play basketball, I'm nervous, I worry, I don't have game, and most recently...I'm nearsighted. I can come to terms with these things and still love myself for what I do have and what I can accomplish. Maybe I wasn't meant to be an NBA star or a ballroom dancer or a ladies man, but I was put here for a purpose. We have to accentuate our positives and stop focusing so much on the negatives.
NOBODY is perfect, perfection does not exist in the human race that's why there's the saying NOBODY is perfect, meaning that there is no BODY that is perfect. What makes up a body? Head, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, legs, feet, toes, fingers, butt. There is no perfect breasts! People who say that someone has the perfect personality...well what's inside the head? The Brain and what does the brain help establish? personality. If the brain is inside the head and the head ain't perfect, then that means there isn't a perfect personality either!
The moral is, no matter how other people view you, the battle starts at home. You have to win the battle with yourself before you try to overcome anybody else. Your mind can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy depending on ho confident you are. And I know how hard it can be. I still struggle with confidence, but I'm getting better at it, and I think people are noticing my changes a little more, which in turn makes me more confident. If you keep it positive, it'll continually grow.
Well that's enough for tonight!
Confidence is the key word. Confidence goes a long way...I mean even Steve Urkel ended up marrying Laura because he was confident in himself no matter how many people put him down. (Us geeks gotta stick together!)
One thing that happens is that people get discouraged with being who they are, so they try to be someone else. But the thing is, you can't be anyone but yourself. You were made the way you were made for a reason and that makes you unique. Don't try to get breasts like Pamela Anderson, that's her role in life, not yours. I've learned to accept my flaws, and continue to accept the new flaws I discover. I know that I'm shy, I can't dance, I can't play basketball, I'm nervous, I worry, I don't have game, and most recently...I'm nearsighted. I can come to terms with these things and still love myself for what I do have and what I can accomplish. Maybe I wasn't meant to be an NBA star or a ballroom dancer or a ladies man, but I was put here for a purpose. We have to accentuate our positives and stop focusing so much on the negatives.
NOBODY is perfect, perfection does not exist in the human race that's why there's the saying NOBODY is perfect, meaning that there is no BODY that is perfect. What makes up a body? Head, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, legs, feet, toes, fingers, butt. There is no perfect breasts! People who say that someone has the perfect personality...well what's inside the head? The Brain and what does the brain help establish? personality. If the brain is inside the head and the head ain't perfect, then that means there isn't a perfect personality either!
The moral is, no matter how other people view you, the battle starts at home. You have to win the battle with yourself before you try to overcome anybody else. Your mind can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy depending on ho confident you are. And I know how hard it can be. I still struggle with confidence, but I'm getting better at it, and I think people are noticing my changes a little more, which in turn makes me more confident. If you keep it positive, it'll continually grow.
Well that's enough for tonight!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A Recurring Dream Inspired This Rant, Hilarious!
Okay, here's the premise for this rant. A couple of month ago I had a dream where I went out on a blind double date with some friends of mine (not real life friends, dream friends). They set me up with this girl named Heather. She was a really cool girl and very career driven and I thought we had a good time, but we never spoke again after the date. Last night I had a dream and guess who my "dream friends" invited along for a dinner run?? Heather! Now I'm in the dream all pissed off because me and this girl don't really like each other and here we are again out together. What makes it even worse is that my "dream friends" who are b/f and g/f sit at a two person table forcing Heather and I to sit by ourselves. Well of course Heather doesn't like me so she pulls up a chair to the two person table making me feel like an idiot because I was actually looking for another place to sit.
Anyways, all four of us are at the two person table and Heather and I aren't talking at all. Well I'm not, I'm busy munching on some chicken, bacon sandwich (Good taste even in my dreams!) I believe one of my "dream friends" asked Heather how come she doesn't come hang out anymore. I dunno why they asked her that! She launched into this tirade about how she's sooooo career driven and she doesn't have time for fun. She doesn't have time for guys because all they wanna do is play around and play video games and have babies. And she wants to be where she would be at age 32 by the time she's 26 or something like that. I took this as a direct offense and I put my chicken sandwich down and here's what I said to her (not verbatim of course, I don't remember everything, I added a bunch of thoughts from when I woke up) and I will say this to all the other "Heathers" out there!
Why can't you have it all?? Nobody is saying you can't be successful in the world, but you can't forget to enjoy your life. When you look back at everything you've accomplished, do you want to be the person who never went out to eat with her friends or couldn't play around with her friends? Why be so uptight and stubborn? Loosen up sometimes. There's nothing wrong with having fun. I know some women criticize some guys for playing video games or watching cartoons and things like that. Have you ever played a video game?!? They're incredible! Have you ever watched Looney Tunes as an adult?! You pick up on so much crazy stuff, like how Pepe Le Pew is the horniest cartoon character in the world, he never gets any. Enjoy yourself, don't get all pissy at your man if he throws you in the water at the beach... as long as he has the money to get your hair done over, no problem!
You only have one life, and I know that tomorrow isn't promised, but when you look back on your life would you rather have spent that time secluded away from society, constantly focusing on what you're going to do when you get older, and plotting on how to reach that plateau? Or would you rather have spent that time enjoying your life while getting to where you want to be in life? No wonder it's hard out here for successful women to find men. Some of you have forgotten how to have fun (I know it's not only women, some dudes are stick in the muds too, but that's another note). You look at any attempt to be silly and funny as being childish. I say who the hell said you can't act silly and goofy when you're an adult? Children these days are acing grown as hell, so why can't adults get in touch with the kid inside of them? It's okay to get excited about going places, I still get antsy when I go to Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion. I think women grow up too fast, that's why our little girls are fast in the pants because they wanna be grown. You wanna be where a 38 year old is when you're 25, but can you handle a 38 year old woman's responsibilities? Some can, others haven't had enough experiences to get to that point in life.
And stop calling guys who like to have fun "not a real man". Nobody wants to hear that. I look at it like this, as long as the guy takes care of his business and goes to work on Monday morning. Let him have fun! Maybe you should join him, it might improve your relationship.
The motto of this note isn't to discourage you ladies from chasing your dreams because you definitely are on the right paths, I'm just saying, quit being soooo overprotective about it. "no man is gonna stop me from reaching my goal". I'm not trying to, I don't know what foolish man would try to stop you, we just wanna pull you out of that bubble and get you to experience a different side of life for a few hours, we'll put you back in the bubble when the night's over, lol.
WOW! All that from a dream!
Anyways, all four of us are at the two person table and Heather and I aren't talking at all. Well I'm not, I'm busy munching on some chicken, bacon sandwich (Good taste even in my dreams!) I believe one of my "dream friends" asked Heather how come she doesn't come hang out anymore. I dunno why they asked her that! She launched into this tirade about how she's sooooo career driven and she doesn't have time for fun. She doesn't have time for guys because all they wanna do is play around and play video games and have babies. And she wants to be where she would be at age 32 by the time she's 26 or something like that. I took this as a direct offense and I put my chicken sandwich down and here's what I said to her (not verbatim of course, I don't remember everything, I added a bunch of thoughts from when I woke up) and I will say this to all the other "Heathers" out there!
Why can't you have it all?? Nobody is saying you can't be successful in the world, but you can't forget to enjoy your life. When you look back at everything you've accomplished, do you want to be the person who never went out to eat with her friends or couldn't play around with her friends? Why be so uptight and stubborn? Loosen up sometimes. There's nothing wrong with having fun. I know some women criticize some guys for playing video games or watching cartoons and things like that. Have you ever played a video game?!? They're incredible! Have you ever watched Looney Tunes as an adult?! You pick up on so much crazy stuff, like how Pepe Le Pew is the horniest cartoon character in the world, he never gets any. Enjoy yourself, don't get all pissy at your man if he throws you in the water at the beach... as long as he has the money to get your hair done over, no problem!
You only have one life, and I know that tomorrow isn't promised, but when you look back on your life would you rather have spent that time secluded away from society, constantly focusing on what you're going to do when you get older, and plotting on how to reach that plateau? Or would you rather have spent that time enjoying your life while getting to where you want to be in life? No wonder it's hard out here for successful women to find men. Some of you have forgotten how to have fun (I know it's not only women, some dudes are stick in the muds too, but that's another note). You look at any attempt to be silly and funny as being childish. I say who the hell said you can't act silly and goofy when you're an adult? Children these days are acing grown as hell, so why can't adults get in touch with the kid inside of them? It's okay to get excited about going places, I still get antsy when I go to Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion. I think women grow up too fast, that's why our little girls are fast in the pants because they wanna be grown. You wanna be where a 38 year old is when you're 25, but can you handle a 38 year old woman's responsibilities? Some can, others haven't had enough experiences to get to that point in life.
And stop calling guys who like to have fun "not a real man". Nobody wants to hear that. I look at it like this, as long as the guy takes care of his business and goes to work on Monday morning. Let him have fun! Maybe you should join him, it might improve your relationship.
The motto of this note isn't to discourage you ladies from chasing your dreams because you definitely are on the right paths, I'm just saying, quit being soooo overprotective about it. "no man is gonna stop me from reaching my goal". I'm not trying to, I don't know what foolish man would try to stop you, we just wanna pull you out of that bubble and get you to experience a different side of life for a few hours, we'll put you back in the bubble when the night's over, lol.
WOW! All that from a dream!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Good Men Aren't Hard To Find You Just Don't Know Where To Look
I hear this saying so much, that everytime I hear it, my blood pressure goes up. "Good men are hard to find".
Good guys aren't hard to find there's just so much pressure and stereotyping going on that's its hard for a good guy to prove that he's a good guy.
For one, some ladies have their priorities mixed up. Some, not all focus too much on the physical and the material, instead of looking at a persons spirit. If a guy is a hard worker and treats you like the queen that you are, why the hell does he need to drive a Benz? Or make 6 figures?
I understand that for some ladies, these are their "standards" and they don't want to "lower their standards" and I'm not asking you to, just to prioritize because I know some good dudes that work everyday 9 to 5 in a warehouse that'll treat you better than a dude who makes mad money and drives a brand new car.
Some Women are being way too unforgiving lately. I know its that whole "I'm independent and I can do bad all by myself" movement and Beyonce and Keyshia Cole have made it popular to diss dudes, but that's music, not real life. In real life, guys make mistakes, ladies make mistakes and just because a dude makes you upset doesn't mean you should dump him or treat him like dirt. Some women and men too...are quick to ditch someone they really care about over a petty argument. This tyler perry generation makes me sick. It was bad enough with Waiting To Exhale, now Tyler is exploring the extremes of manhood with his movies. Either the man is the flawless, knight in shining armor or the scum of the Earth, no in between. And some women believe what they see in movies and what they hear in songs. What sucks is that most guys are in between. So a negative move on the guys part equates to being scum.
Some ladies think that they need a guy equal to them as far as education and income. While it may be true that men make more money than women, more women than men are graduating from college so the opportunities for vast income are better for women. Not every guy is going to be a college grad like you and not every college grad is a good man. Some of the cruelest men are men who work in corporate America. Some women make it hard for guys. Not everyone can afford college, just because a man isn't college educated doesn't mean he's not intelligent and can't match your intellect. I know dudes that never set foot in college that know more about the world and life than me.
I feel like I've said all these things before...
This is my opinion though, you never hear guys complaining that there are no good women around because I think (this doesn't mean its a fact) that men are more accepting and women are more judgemental. So I say ladies, take a man's advice for once "Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man" - Steve Harvey
Good guys aren't hard to find there's just so much pressure and stereotyping going on that's its hard for a good guy to prove that he's a good guy.
For one, some ladies have their priorities mixed up. Some, not all focus too much on the physical and the material, instead of looking at a persons spirit. If a guy is a hard worker and treats you like the queen that you are, why the hell does he need to drive a Benz? Or make 6 figures?
I understand that for some ladies, these are their "standards" and they don't want to "lower their standards" and I'm not asking you to, just to prioritize because I know some good dudes that work everyday 9 to 5 in a warehouse that'll treat you better than a dude who makes mad money and drives a brand new car.
Some Women are being way too unforgiving lately. I know its that whole "I'm independent and I can do bad all by myself" movement and Beyonce and Keyshia Cole have made it popular to diss dudes, but that's music, not real life. In real life, guys make mistakes, ladies make mistakes and just because a dude makes you upset doesn't mean you should dump him or treat him like dirt. Some women and men too...are quick to ditch someone they really care about over a petty argument. This tyler perry generation makes me sick. It was bad enough with Waiting To Exhale, now Tyler is exploring the extremes of manhood with his movies. Either the man is the flawless, knight in shining armor or the scum of the Earth, no in between. And some women believe what they see in movies and what they hear in songs. What sucks is that most guys are in between. So a negative move on the guys part equates to being scum.
Some ladies think that they need a guy equal to them as far as education and income. While it may be true that men make more money than women, more women than men are graduating from college so the opportunities for vast income are better for women. Not every guy is going to be a college grad like you and not every college grad is a good man. Some of the cruelest men are men who work in corporate America. Some women make it hard for guys. Not everyone can afford college, just because a man isn't college educated doesn't mean he's not intelligent and can't match your intellect. I know dudes that never set foot in college that know more about the world and life than me.
I feel like I've said all these things before...
This is my opinion though, you never hear guys complaining that there are no good women around because I think (this doesn't mean its a fact) that men are more accepting and women are more judgemental. So I say ladies, take a man's advice for once "Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man" - Steve Harvey
So...How Much?
This is going out to all those people out there who sag their pants. The kids I work with were visited by a police officer who did that scared straight kind of presentation. One of the ladies was particularly annoyed with the kids sagging their pants so she asked the cop to tell them where that started. He proceeded to tell them where sagging your pants originated.
For those of you who don't know, it started in prison and its a signal to other inmates that you're sexually available. He said that what's even funnier is that he tells the kids what it means and they STILL do it. Is it cool to imitate prison behavior? Because if you want to be in prison, its easy enough to get there.
So why is the trend of sagging pants so popular in such a homophobic society? You'd think that fad wouldve died, but no because rappers do it, ironically a good portion of rappers have been to jail...do you think they sagged their pants in prison? I bet the waistline of their pants met the waistlines on their body, either that or they had Big Bubba breathing on their neck.
I'm particularly irritated by this consistent ignorance. So I make it my business to ask the kids I work with "how much?" When I see their pants sagging. They pull them up quick, fast, and in a hurry. I understand these rappers make everything cool, but there are some things that are just destructive to us as a people and that is one of them. So I ask all you young guys out there, now that you know what sagging means (in case you didn't see above) will you still sag your pants? If so why??
Inquiring mind wanna know..
My remedy..ask "how much" and see how quick the pants come up, don't do it to some stranger though, don't wanna end up getting shot or something... Its just a PSA for you people who are as tired of this trend as I am.
For those of you who don't know, it started in prison and its a signal to other inmates that you're sexually available. He said that what's even funnier is that he tells the kids what it means and they STILL do it. Is it cool to imitate prison behavior? Because if you want to be in prison, its easy enough to get there.
So why is the trend of sagging pants so popular in such a homophobic society? You'd think that fad wouldve died, but no because rappers do it, ironically a good portion of rappers have been to jail...do you think they sagged their pants in prison? I bet the waistline of their pants met the waistlines on their body, either that or they had Big Bubba breathing on their neck.
I'm particularly irritated by this consistent ignorance. So I make it my business to ask the kids I work with "how much?" When I see their pants sagging. They pull them up quick, fast, and in a hurry. I understand these rappers make everything cool, but there are some things that are just destructive to us as a people and that is one of them. So I ask all you young guys out there, now that you know what sagging means (in case you didn't see above) will you still sag your pants? If so why??
Inquiring mind wanna know..
My remedy..ask "how much" and see how quick the pants come up, don't do it to some stranger though, don't wanna end up getting shot or something... Its just a PSA for you people who are as tired of this trend as I am.
Ever Wonder Why This Is A Man's World?
This is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothin without a woman.
Do you ever wonder why?
I had this moment of clarity where I have the majority of my moments, in the bathroom. However, this time I was taking a nice, hot, steamy shhh...ower.
Look at the world, everything is given to men. We get paid more, better jobs all because we're men. People assume we take care of the household just because we're men. Everything is given to men, which is why this is a man's world. The only thing that isn't given to a man just because he's a man is a woman. That's why this world wouldn't be anything without you.
Men have conquered damn near everything, but one mystery still exists, women. We don't know what you want, don't know how you think, don't know what to do with you or without you. All we know is that we want you. A woman isn't going to be yours just because you're a man. You have to have something going for yourself. You don't necessarily need to be a baller or a doctor, just have something that sets you aside from other men. This is where the world gets complicated.
It's not that men don't appreciate women it's just that we don't understand you and having everything at our fingertips is a luxury, so when that luxury is taken from us, it frustrates us. Have you ever been trying to figure out a difficult math problem and you get so frustrated that you take your book and fling it across the room? That's kind of how men deal with women. When things are difficult and we don't understand, we fling you across the room. However, when we calm down and realize that if we had taken time to actually read the chapter before we jumped to the questions (a little metaphor there), that the answer would've been clear all along.
Us men, we try to hide what we're feeling because we're so used to being on top of the world that we can't take it when we're not so we bury our feelings. We'll move on to another subject that we know we're good at. We'll try to do our history, but you don't think that in the back of our minds we're still not thinking about how much of a loser we feel like for not being able to figure out that math work? Well we do.
I still don't know how to figure out that math problem, but you know what? I haven't given up.
Just my random rant, showers bring out the best in me.
Do you ever wonder why?
I had this moment of clarity where I have the majority of my moments, in the bathroom. However, this time I was taking a nice, hot, steamy shhh...ower.
Look at the world, everything is given to men. We get paid more, better jobs all because we're men. People assume we take care of the household just because we're men. Everything is given to men, which is why this is a man's world. The only thing that isn't given to a man just because he's a man is a woman. That's why this world wouldn't be anything without you.
Men have conquered damn near everything, but one mystery still exists, women. We don't know what you want, don't know how you think, don't know what to do with you or without you. All we know is that we want you. A woman isn't going to be yours just because you're a man. You have to have something going for yourself. You don't necessarily need to be a baller or a doctor, just have something that sets you aside from other men. This is where the world gets complicated.
It's not that men don't appreciate women it's just that we don't understand you and having everything at our fingertips is a luxury, so when that luxury is taken from us, it frustrates us. Have you ever been trying to figure out a difficult math problem and you get so frustrated that you take your book and fling it across the room? That's kind of how men deal with women. When things are difficult and we don't understand, we fling you across the room. However, when we calm down and realize that if we had taken time to actually read the chapter before we jumped to the questions (a little metaphor there), that the answer would've been clear all along.
Us men, we try to hide what we're feeling because we're so used to being on top of the world that we can't take it when we're not so we bury our feelings. We'll move on to another subject that we know we're good at. We'll try to do our history, but you don't think that in the back of our minds we're still not thinking about how much of a loser we feel like for not being able to figure out that math work? Well we do.
I still don't know how to figure out that math problem, but you know what? I haven't given up.
Just my random rant, showers bring out the best in me.
Amazing How The Weather Can Affect Our Emotions
Its funny how the weather effects the way we feel. When the weather is sunny and bright, we feel good, we want to go places, we like to smile. However, the contrary exists when the weather is bad. We feel bad, we get down, we remember all the bad times. Its no accident that its always dark and gloomy in movies whenever there's a funeral or a breakup. The weather helps capture the mood and in the process our mood is captured and transformed. Its amazing that people can have the exact same events happen to them and they'll rate the sunny day as a "better day" than a rainy or gloomy day.
Its not a coincidence that most people break up in the winter time and new relationships start in the spring.
Wow...as I'm sitting here in my car typing this Angie Stone's song "my sunshine has come" just came on the radio. That's such a feel good song, but listen to a song like "rain on me" by ashanti or "I wish it would rain" by the temptations and you feel down.
Why do we regard the rain as such a negative event. I love the sound of the rain and I find lightening fascinating.
Even though I am aware of the effect the weather has on my mood, I still fall victim to the circumstances. I feel gloomy when it rains and energetic when its sunny. Its probably one of those mysteries about humans that we'll never understand.
Its not a coincidence that most people break up in the winter time and new relationships start in the spring.
Wow...as I'm sitting here in my car typing this Angie Stone's song "my sunshine has come" just came on the radio. That's such a feel good song, but listen to a song like "rain on me" by ashanti or "I wish it would rain" by the temptations and you feel down.
Why do we regard the rain as such a negative event. I love the sound of the rain and I find lightening fascinating.
Even though I am aware of the effect the weather has on my mood, I still fall victim to the circumstances. I feel gloomy when it rains and energetic when its sunny. Its probably one of those mysteries about humans that we'll never understand.
Emotions: Mankind's Greatest Mystery
Emotions of the greatest mystery of mankind. It's something that will never ever be solved because emotions defy logic and reason.
We know that it is not okay to murder people, but something triggers our basic instincts when we see someone we love making love to someone else and we snap. That's what people call "crimes of passion". There are no logical reasons to kill someone who is cheating on us.
Emotions are dangerous which is why there are counselors and therapists out there to help people manage their emotions and express them. Emotions can be like diseases, people have had heart attacks over divorces. If you let emotions sit inside you and burn up your insides it can be just as fatal as having cancer. When people are having a stressful day, the body releases cholesterol to lube up the body and make it loose just in case we have to fight or make a hasty get away. However, when this cholesterol sits for days and days it turns into bad cholesterol which can clog your arteries, which can cause death. So holding your emotions in, is like eating a pound of grease.
People always want to learn stress management techniques, but they don't want to learn ways to reduce the amount of stress they can handle. They want to be able to maximize their stress threshold so they can handle more and more stress. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Why not reduce your threshold for stress and be able to get rid of the little bit of stress that you're carrying instead of being able to pile on stressor after stressor. Eventually you'll run out of space to store your stress and that can be dangerous!
So this is my public service announcement for all you people out there. Do not hold in your feelings of anger, shame, resentment, fear, and embarrassment. Let them out, even if you're only talking to a stuffed animal. Just don't hold in those emotions because it can lead to really severe illnesses.
We know that it is not okay to murder people, but something triggers our basic instincts when we see someone we love making love to someone else and we snap. That's what people call "crimes of passion". There are no logical reasons to kill someone who is cheating on us.
Emotions are dangerous which is why there are counselors and therapists out there to help people manage their emotions and express them. Emotions can be like diseases, people have had heart attacks over divorces. If you let emotions sit inside you and burn up your insides it can be just as fatal as having cancer. When people are having a stressful day, the body releases cholesterol to lube up the body and make it loose just in case we have to fight or make a hasty get away. However, when this cholesterol sits for days and days it turns into bad cholesterol which can clog your arteries, which can cause death. So holding your emotions in, is like eating a pound of grease.
People always want to learn stress management techniques, but they don't want to learn ways to reduce the amount of stress they can handle. They want to be able to maximize their stress threshold so they can handle more and more stress. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Why not reduce your threshold for stress and be able to get rid of the little bit of stress that you're carrying instead of being able to pile on stressor after stressor. Eventually you'll run out of space to store your stress and that can be dangerous!
So this is my public service announcement for all you people out there. Do not hold in your feelings of anger, shame, resentment, fear, and embarrassment. Let them out, even if you're only talking to a stuffed animal. Just don't hold in those emotions because it can lead to really severe illnesses.
A Story To Tell: Trying Too Hard
I got a story to tell. The story is one that many of us can relate to.
The story is about a guy who has just met a girl whom he is trying to impress. He's very careful to manage his temper, ensure that no explicit songs pop up on his mp3 player while they're riding in the car, and makes sure not to try to say anything to offend the young lady.
The first one is rather simple because he likes the girl so the things she says or jokingly talks about the wrinkles in his clothes he can brush off. The second and third prove to be the greatest testament of all time. As soon as he gets into the car and turns on the radio the most disrespectful, misogynistic song comes on and it's not one where you can catch it before the cursing starts, it's one of the songs that comes on like F*CK B*TCHES!! So in a nervous laugh, he quickly switches to the radio where at least he can blame the radio station for playing a random song. It seems like everything this guy says only seems to irritate and annoy this young lady, even though the guy thinks he's screening his language so that it's more user friendly, he actually comes off like he's arrogant and stiff which serves to push her away.
The guy is a decent guy, but the woman says that they clash, quickly trying to plead with her that he's not trying to offend her, they re-establish rapport. He disregards any and every negative jab at his character and agrees with everything she says as to not start conflict. Then it dons on him... why is he trying so hard?
This guy goes through hell to try to please the young lady and it still is like he's moving in reverse with her. That's when he comes to the conclusion that women don't need men.
Have you ever gotten angry with your g/f fellas? Doesn't it seem hard to get angry with her because you kind of feel like she's gonna be like whatever and not speak to you again, so you take it... you take the nagging, the annoyances, and the irritations. You even agree to things that you normally wouldn't, all because you're trying to stay on her good side.
Fellas, tell your girls if you don't agree with her or if something she does bothers you. Rather it be out in the open now than to wait until it boils over and turns into a huge argument over nothing. Stress kills, no point in causing more stress in your life. So fellas tell ladies what's on your mind. If she can't appreciate it, then no point wasting time pretending that everything is A-Okay might as well keep it pushing.
-Roderic
The story is about a guy who has just met a girl whom he is trying to impress. He's very careful to manage his temper, ensure that no explicit songs pop up on his mp3 player while they're riding in the car, and makes sure not to try to say anything to offend the young lady.
The first one is rather simple because he likes the girl so the things she says or jokingly talks about the wrinkles in his clothes he can brush off. The second and third prove to be the greatest testament of all time. As soon as he gets into the car and turns on the radio the most disrespectful, misogynistic song comes on and it's not one where you can catch it before the cursing starts, it's one of the songs that comes on like F*CK B*TCHES!! So in a nervous laugh, he quickly switches to the radio where at least he can blame the radio station for playing a random song. It seems like everything this guy says only seems to irritate and annoy this young lady, even though the guy thinks he's screening his language so that it's more user friendly, he actually comes off like he's arrogant and stiff which serves to push her away.
The guy is a decent guy, but the woman says that they clash, quickly trying to plead with her that he's not trying to offend her, they re-establish rapport. He disregards any and every negative jab at his character and agrees with everything she says as to not start conflict. Then it dons on him... why is he trying so hard?
This guy goes through hell to try to please the young lady and it still is like he's moving in reverse with her. That's when he comes to the conclusion that women don't need men.
Have you ever gotten angry with your g/f fellas? Doesn't it seem hard to get angry with her because you kind of feel like she's gonna be like whatever and not speak to you again, so you take it... you take the nagging, the annoyances, and the irritations. You even agree to things that you normally wouldn't, all because you're trying to stay on her good side.
Fellas, tell your girls if you don't agree with her or if something she does bothers you. Rather it be out in the open now than to wait until it boils over and turns into a huge argument over nothing. Stress kills, no point in causing more stress in your life. So fellas tell ladies what's on your mind. If she can't appreciate it, then no point wasting time pretending that everything is A-Okay might as well keep it pushing.
-Roderic
Our Purpose
What is our purpose? Why are we placed on this planet called Earth? Why were were chosen to be human instead of antelope or a blade of grass?
Some people think that humans have such a great and wonderful reason for being placed on this planet. Call me pessimistic, but I don't really think so.
When we are born we start to die. This isn't just for humans, it's for all living things. There is no expiration date and yet many of us live our lives like there is some great light at the end of the tunnel. What if you weren't meant to be that doctor or lawyer, that's just where you ended up, but your real purpose was to give change to the homeless man at 7-11 when you were 19 years old?
What if it was that man's purpose to be a dog to you so you'd learn to respect yourself as a woman and find that guy that was truly right for you?
What if your purpose was to have that one child by the abusive husband?
I'm saying this... nowhere does it say we have to leave a legacy behind directly with our lives. What if the bum you gave the 1 dollar to used it to buy a lottery ticket and won 10,000 dollars, enough to feed his family and find a decent place to live.
What if the baby you gave birth to from the abusive husband grew up to become the next president of the united states?
I'm saying that to say this, we don't always have to leave our stamp on this world, sometimes it's the littlest things that will yield the biggest benefits. Don't think that you have to be the greatest whatever in the world. Do what makes you happy and when you discover your purpose on the world, embrace it, don't run away from it.
This has been a Roderic Williams Public Service Announcement!
Some people think that humans have such a great and wonderful reason for being placed on this planet. Call me pessimistic, but I don't really think so.
When we are born we start to die. This isn't just for humans, it's for all living things. There is no expiration date and yet many of us live our lives like there is some great light at the end of the tunnel. What if you weren't meant to be that doctor or lawyer, that's just where you ended up, but your real purpose was to give change to the homeless man at 7-11 when you were 19 years old?
What if it was that man's purpose to be a dog to you so you'd learn to respect yourself as a woman and find that guy that was truly right for you?
What if your purpose was to have that one child by the abusive husband?
I'm saying this... nowhere does it say we have to leave a legacy behind directly with our lives. What if the bum you gave the 1 dollar to used it to buy a lottery ticket and won 10,000 dollars, enough to feed his family and find a decent place to live.
What if the baby you gave birth to from the abusive husband grew up to become the next president of the united states?
I'm saying that to say this, we don't always have to leave our stamp on this world, sometimes it's the littlest things that will yield the biggest benefits. Don't think that you have to be the greatest whatever in the world. Do what makes you happy and when you discover your purpose on the world, embrace it, don't run away from it.
This has been a Roderic Williams Public Service Announcement!
What's Wrong With Men?
I hear this question all the time from women, since I'm usually dubbed the eternal "platonic friend" women like to pick my brain sometimes in hopes of unlocking the mystery of a man's rationale.
I always get the question, "Rod, why are all men dogs?" First off, you're being inclusive when you ask that question, and if I attempt to answer it, I'm just reinforcing the fact that you basically just asked me why am I a dog too. Hell, I don't know why guys fool around, they've been doing it since before I was born and they'll likely continue after I'm gone and I bet there are one million different reasons why each man has fooled around. Not saying that it's right, but there's no simple solution to the question.
"Rod how come men are afraid of commitment?" Aha! Finally a question I can partially answer. Now I'm not speaking for all men, but from my experiences, this is what I've come up with. Different people go through different stages of life at different moments. Just like they say women mature faster than men, (which I believe is some BS but that's a completely different note, lol) and this is known so instead of being patient ladies what do you do? You try to overrationalize the situation, attempt to entice us with offers, and generally persuade a guy to do something when maturity wise, he may not be there yet. Not saying that a guy is less of a man because he's not necessarily ready to commit, we just take longer to get to that phase. Think of it like math classes. Some people progress through math at different times. While yall might be flying through the math classes Algebra I no problem, Algebra II, no problem, Geometry no problem; we might get caught up in Algebra I and might have to take longer to reach Geometry. Guys have a very long adolescent phase, and it's a fun time. Whereas yall might be ready for marriage and kids at 22, we might be ready for a girlfriend. And it's not that guys are afraid of commitment, we're just not trying to mess up a good thing. Like hey, we've been going out for over a year and it's beautiful, but now you wanna move in together. There are plenty of things that could spoil the good times we've had by moving in together and believe or not ladies were actually thinking about you when we don't rush into big commitments like that because we don't want to mess things up by jumping into something before we're actually ready.
"Rod, how come he acts like he doesn't care when I'm upset?" Okay, half the time we don't even know when you're upset. We ask, "what's wrong?" and most of the time yall will say "nothing". So we're thinking, okay, whatever, she said nothing. If something is wrong ladies, do us all a favor and TELL US! We don't read minds. We don't completely understand female body language. So make it easy on yourselves and the guys by just telling us your side. And don't start off by being accusatory, because then we'll get defensive and it'll turn into an argument. Guys don't like to argue, believe it or not. That's why we're like screw it, you wanna leave, there's the door. That's another issue too. Don't threaten to leave a guy when you're having a petty argument. I'm at the point now where I'll say... hey if you wanna leave, then leave and don't come back 3 hours later talking about "can we talk" because I gave you free reign to express yourself and YOU chose to say nothing so don't get upset with me. So the short answer to that question is, it's not that we don't care, it's just that you don't come off very sympathetic. We want to care, we'll sit down and listen to your side and try to process what you're saying. Just don't come at us like everything we do is wrong wrong wrong because who the hell wants to hear that about themselves constantly?
Now I may be playing devil's advocate, but these are the questions you ask, so don't be mad at the answers you hear, if you didn't wanna know, you shouldn't have asked.
I always get the question, "Rod, why are all men dogs?" First off, you're being inclusive when you ask that question, and if I attempt to answer it, I'm just reinforcing the fact that you basically just asked me why am I a dog too. Hell, I don't know why guys fool around, they've been doing it since before I was born and they'll likely continue after I'm gone and I bet there are one million different reasons why each man has fooled around. Not saying that it's right, but there's no simple solution to the question.
"Rod how come men are afraid of commitment?" Aha! Finally a question I can partially answer. Now I'm not speaking for all men, but from my experiences, this is what I've come up with. Different people go through different stages of life at different moments. Just like they say women mature faster than men, (which I believe is some BS but that's a completely different note, lol) and this is known so instead of being patient ladies what do you do? You try to overrationalize the situation, attempt to entice us with offers, and generally persuade a guy to do something when maturity wise, he may not be there yet. Not saying that a guy is less of a man because he's not necessarily ready to commit, we just take longer to get to that phase. Think of it like math classes. Some people progress through math at different times. While yall might be flying through the math classes Algebra I no problem, Algebra II, no problem, Geometry no problem; we might get caught up in Algebra I and might have to take longer to reach Geometry. Guys have a very long adolescent phase, and it's a fun time. Whereas yall might be ready for marriage and kids at 22, we might be ready for a girlfriend. And it's not that guys are afraid of commitment, we're just not trying to mess up a good thing. Like hey, we've been going out for over a year and it's beautiful, but now you wanna move in together. There are plenty of things that could spoil the good times we've had by moving in together and believe or not ladies were actually thinking about you when we don't rush into big commitments like that because we don't want to mess things up by jumping into something before we're actually ready.
"Rod, how come he acts like he doesn't care when I'm upset?" Okay, half the time we don't even know when you're upset. We ask, "what's wrong?" and most of the time yall will say "nothing". So we're thinking, okay, whatever, she said nothing. If something is wrong ladies, do us all a favor and TELL US! We don't read minds. We don't completely understand female body language. So make it easy on yourselves and the guys by just telling us your side. And don't start off by being accusatory, because then we'll get defensive and it'll turn into an argument. Guys don't like to argue, believe it or not. That's why we're like screw it, you wanna leave, there's the door. That's another issue too. Don't threaten to leave a guy when you're having a petty argument. I'm at the point now where I'll say... hey if you wanna leave, then leave and don't come back 3 hours later talking about "can we talk" because I gave you free reign to express yourself and YOU chose to say nothing so don't get upset with me. So the short answer to that question is, it's not that we don't care, it's just that you don't come off very sympathetic. We want to care, we'll sit down and listen to your side and try to process what you're saying. Just don't come at us like everything we do is wrong wrong wrong because who the hell wants to hear that about themselves constantly?
Now I may be playing devil's advocate, but these are the questions you ask, so don't be mad at the answers you hear, if you didn't wanna know, you shouldn't have asked.
The Dateable Rules: For The Ladies
Okay, so I started reading this book called "the dateable rules" and its about how men and women interact when they date and blah blah. So the beginning of the book starts off by saying the guys should ask the ladies 5 questions that they wanna know about women and vice versa. So I shall once again open up the floor to the ladies to ask 5 questions to me and I'll answer them. I will also ask my 5. Here they are:
1. If guys think about sex every 5 seconds, how often do women think about sex? And do you enjoy sex as much as men do?
2. What is your definition of a "good man" and a "dog"?
3. How come you don't like other women?
4. Can men and women just be friends? And would you date any of your male friends?
5. Do you think we'll ever understand one another? Why or why not?
I have others, but these questions will suffice. So let's hear those answers ladies!
1. If guys think about sex every 5 seconds, how often do women think about sex? And do you enjoy sex as much as men do?
2. What is your definition of a "good man" and a "dog"?
3. How come you don't like other women?
4. Can men and women just be friends? And would you date any of your male friends?
5. Do you think we'll ever understand one another? Why or why not?
I have others, but these questions will suffice. So let's hear those answers ladies!
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Story To Tell: A Night Out With My Split Personality
That's right I had a schizo moment. A moment in time where I felt like I had a second personality. One mind says it loves you while the other mind is busy plotting on the young lady in the black leggings and purple top.
I try to resist the urge to approach this lady, but my second personality is telling me how much I want and need her. My other personality's name is Richard, but he likes to call himself Dick. I'll never call him that...
Me: "But what about the woman I love?"
Rich: "What about her? If your love was as strong for her as you let on, we wouldn't even be having this conversation".
I'm telling this story because it seems like many men seem to have this disorder. You see we are born with two heads and even though only one of them has a brain, the other one is determined to get some brain. However, no matter how scholarly one head becomes, we cannot seem to outsmart the other head. And so the conversation continues...
Me: "Why do you always do this, you know we're committed!"
Rich: "WE? You Mean YOU committed, I was just there to seal the deal, I have a bigger question though. Why do you always resist? You try to act civilized and proper, when I know you better than you know you. This is what you want and it's what you need, so let's go for it, I got your back!"
So against my better judgement I engage the foxy purple cladded mistress, and in her drunken stupor, she mistakes my nervous smiles and stuttering speech as a swagger filled compliment fest, much to the joy of my other personality! The night ends when she's introduced to my "other half" and although he does have a way with women, I sometimes wish he'd shut the hell up!
After the deed is done, there is silence, like the woman's body was a temporary fix for my condition even though I know after a sandwich and a nap, he'll rear his ugly head once again. For the moment, I begin to relax because there are no words from Rich. However, it seems that fate dealt me a two-seven off suit after I went all in because at that moment, the door bursts open and in walks the love of my life, but it seems like she too has a split personality because the warm, loving person whom I adore, is cold and hard... much like the blade that fits so snugly into her hand.
Me: "Honey wait! It wasn't my idea! It was Rich's Fault! Tell her Rich!"
Now the once bold and blaring Rich was as quiet as a mouse and once again, left me holding the "short end of the stick". F*ck! Richard, you did it to me again... At this time, I'm standing there; eyeing the silver blade in my love's hand, when a funny thing happens, a smile comes across her face.
Love: "Oh... Richard huh? Well I have the cure for your split personality... just think of me as the therapist and this knife as the medication, this will be a brief therapy, it'll only be one session and trust me, when you leave this room, you'll only have ONE personality to worry about."
The Doctors did all they could, but Rich was pronounced dead at 3:02 A.M.
R.I.P. Richard
-Roderic
I try to resist the urge to approach this lady, but my second personality is telling me how much I want and need her. My other personality's name is Richard, but he likes to call himself Dick. I'll never call him that...
Me: "But what about the woman I love?"
Rich: "What about her? If your love was as strong for her as you let on, we wouldn't even be having this conversation".
I'm telling this story because it seems like many men seem to have this disorder. You see we are born with two heads and even though only one of them has a brain, the other one is determined to get some brain. However, no matter how scholarly one head becomes, we cannot seem to outsmart the other head. And so the conversation continues...
Me: "Why do you always do this, you know we're committed!"
Rich: "WE? You Mean YOU committed, I was just there to seal the deal, I have a bigger question though. Why do you always resist? You try to act civilized and proper, when I know you better than you know you. This is what you want and it's what you need, so let's go for it, I got your back!"
So against my better judgement I engage the foxy purple cladded mistress, and in her drunken stupor, she mistakes my nervous smiles and stuttering speech as a swagger filled compliment fest, much to the joy of my other personality! The night ends when she's introduced to my "other half" and although he does have a way with women, I sometimes wish he'd shut the hell up!
After the deed is done, there is silence, like the woman's body was a temporary fix for my condition even though I know after a sandwich and a nap, he'll rear his ugly head once again. For the moment, I begin to relax because there are no words from Rich. However, it seems that fate dealt me a two-seven off suit after I went all in because at that moment, the door bursts open and in walks the love of my life, but it seems like she too has a split personality because the warm, loving person whom I adore, is cold and hard... much like the blade that fits so snugly into her hand.
Me: "Honey wait! It wasn't my idea! It was Rich's Fault! Tell her Rich!"
Now the once bold and blaring Rich was as quiet as a mouse and once again, left me holding the "short end of the stick". F*ck! Richard, you did it to me again... At this time, I'm standing there; eyeing the silver blade in my love's hand, when a funny thing happens, a smile comes across her face.
Love: "Oh... Richard huh? Well I have the cure for your split personality... just think of me as the therapist and this knife as the medication, this will be a brief therapy, it'll only be one session and trust me, when you leave this room, you'll only have ONE personality to worry about."
The Doctors did all they could, but Rich was pronounced dead at 3:02 A.M.
R.I.P. Richard
-Roderic
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right. Interesting Theory, But Do We Follow It?
We're all told that two wrongs don't make a right, but in what instances is this philosophy implied.
In English a double negative (two wrongs) make a positive (right).
In Math, it's the same concept, two negative signs equal a positive sign.
Most Science is based off of math so technically some of the same rules apply here.
Physics states that for every action there is an equal, but OPPOSITE reaction, meaning that if someone wrongs you, you're supposed to equalize their wrong with a positive reaction.
Historically we bomb and attack people after they attack us. i.e. Pearl Harbor lead to Hiroshima & Nagasaki and 9/11 lead to the "War on terror".
The taking of a life is morally wrong, but we do it to justify the lives we lost... does that make it right?
So when do we use this rule? In our daily lives? That's funny. Most people live by the "eye for an eye" creed which is basically justifying negative behavior for a negative behavior in order to "set things straight".
It's funny how when we're the one's on the receiving end of the second wrong, meaning we've already wronged someone and it's time for us to get ours, we spew "two wrongs don't make a right" in order to guilt trip the person into not retaliating.
Then again.. there's also another saying, all is fair in love and war. You want to know why they hold love and war in the same standard? Because they're the same! If you're in love with someone, you know what war really is like.
I brought that up to get to my bigger point. The only time we wrong someone or are wronged by someone else is in Love and in War, so if everything is FAIR in love and war that'd make the claim "two wrongs don't make a right" null and void right?
-Roderic
hope I didn't confuse you.
In English a double negative (two wrongs) make a positive (right).
In Math, it's the same concept, two negative signs equal a positive sign.
Most Science is based off of math so technically some of the same rules apply here.
Physics states that for every action there is an equal, but OPPOSITE reaction, meaning that if someone wrongs you, you're supposed to equalize their wrong with a positive reaction.
Historically we bomb and attack people after they attack us. i.e. Pearl Harbor lead to Hiroshima & Nagasaki and 9/11 lead to the "War on terror".
The taking of a life is morally wrong, but we do it to justify the lives we lost... does that make it right?
So when do we use this rule? In our daily lives? That's funny. Most people live by the "eye for an eye" creed which is basically justifying negative behavior for a negative behavior in order to "set things straight".
It's funny how when we're the one's on the receiving end of the second wrong, meaning we've already wronged someone and it's time for us to get ours, we spew "two wrongs don't make a right" in order to guilt trip the person into not retaliating.
Then again.. there's also another saying, all is fair in love and war. You want to know why they hold love and war in the same standard? Because they're the same! If you're in love with someone, you know what war really is like.
I brought that up to get to my bigger point. The only time we wrong someone or are wronged by someone else is in Love and in War, so if everything is FAIR in love and war that'd make the claim "two wrongs don't make a right" null and void right?
-Roderic
hope I didn't confuse you.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I'm bringing back "Ask A Black Dude"
Racism will always exist, you know why? Because there will always be more than 1 race. Only way to eliminate racism is for everybody to be the same race. There will never be complete multi-cultural peace in the world. Do you know why? Because people are afraid to ask questions about other races.
Nothing grinds my gears more than when people assume things baout other races. It seems that there are misconceptions about every single race. Everybody is racist in their own sick denial-filled way.
I believe the best way to cure racism is to ask questions. It seems like people are afraid to ask questions that's why stereotypes exist and that's why racism will continue to thrive. Racism will never go away, but we can eliminate some of the stereotypes and assumptions we have about one another and *possibly* get a long a percentage point better. (As of right now, racism is down 25% due to Obama being President and the recession... you know people can't afford to be racist, this is a RECESSION, read the earlier note to get the joke).
So I'll start it up... I'm going to officially bring back "Ask A Black Dude".
*Note* I know that I'm not the black people representative, but I'd rather if you had a question about black people, you get an educated black perspective before you formulate your own opinion. I know every race has "one of those", you know those people you can't talk to about anything without them claiming it's racist.... I hate that, my teachers told me in school that if you want to know something, ask a question and there is no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people. Well this is your chance to not be ignorant about a few situations.
This will be a safe haven for questions, if you have a question, feel free to ask me! I'll consult with my team and try to offer a reasonable explanation for your questions.
Ask Away!
Nothing grinds my gears more than when people assume things baout other races. It seems that there are misconceptions about every single race. Everybody is racist in their own sick denial-filled way.
I believe the best way to cure racism is to ask questions. It seems like people are afraid to ask questions that's why stereotypes exist and that's why racism will continue to thrive. Racism will never go away, but we can eliminate some of the stereotypes and assumptions we have about one another and *possibly* get a long a percentage point better. (As of right now, racism is down 25% due to Obama being President and the recession... you know people can't afford to be racist, this is a RECESSION, read the earlier note to get the joke).
So I'll start it up... I'm going to officially bring back "Ask A Black Dude".
*Note* I know that I'm not the black people representative, but I'd rather if you had a question about black people, you get an educated black perspective before you formulate your own opinion. I know every race has "one of those", you know those people you can't talk to about anything without them claiming it's racist.... I hate that, my teachers told me in school that if you want to know something, ask a question and there is no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people. Well this is your chance to not be ignorant about a few situations.
This will be a safe haven for questions, if you have a question, feel free to ask me! I'll consult with my team and try to offer a reasonable explanation for your questions.
Ask Away!
Friday, March 13, 2009
My Piece On Domestic Violence
I definitely feel that domestic violence is getting it's share of the limelight now that the Chris Brown Rihanna situation happened, and the incident itself is very unfortunate, but the attention that the event is getting is great. Let's face it, Rihanna has the means to get away from Chris Brown and survive on her own, but what about those women who can never seem to ecape from their abusive boyfriends? I think the focus and media frenzy this incident is attracting will inspire some women to seek guidance and hopefully influence the men to take a second look at themselves.
However, this is a double edged sword because there are people who find it funny or agree with what Chris Brown did because of the rumors that were swirling around. People are using "Chris Brown" as another word for beatdown like, "I'm about to go Chris Brown on you". Similar to the Ike and Tina Turner jokes that everybody has, admit it who hasn't said "Eat the cake AnnieMae"?
I mean people are going to joke about it... its their right, as long as they're sure that their jokes aren't being misconstrued as "it's ok to do" to the younger population. I've recently seen the movie The Family That Preys, by Tyler Perry. In a particular scene towards the end Rockmond Dunbar slaps Sanaa Lathan's character over the counter in a diner. Women in the theater cheered and clapped because Sanaa Lathan was the villain, but even still he was her husband and it was a pretty vicious slap that wasn't necessary because she didn't lay a finger on him. To get cheers for that and jokes about Chris Brown and Rihanna, I'm definitely not a stick in the mud, I just pray we're not sending the wrong message by trivializing the struggles that some people actually go through everyday.
That's my piece. Hope you enjoy.
However, this is a double edged sword because there are people who find it funny or agree with what Chris Brown did because of the rumors that were swirling around. People are using "Chris Brown" as another word for beatdown like, "I'm about to go Chris Brown on you". Similar to the Ike and Tina Turner jokes that everybody has, admit it who hasn't said "Eat the cake AnnieMae"?
I mean people are going to joke about it... its their right, as long as they're sure that their jokes aren't being misconstrued as "it's ok to do" to the younger population. I've recently seen the movie The Family That Preys, by Tyler Perry. In a particular scene towards the end Rockmond Dunbar slaps Sanaa Lathan's character over the counter in a diner. Women in the theater cheered and clapped because Sanaa Lathan was the villain, but even still he was her husband and it was a pretty vicious slap that wasn't necessary because she didn't lay a finger on him. To get cheers for that and jokes about Chris Brown and Rihanna, I'm definitely not a stick in the mud, I just pray we're not sending the wrong message by trivializing the struggles that some people actually go through everyday.
That's my piece. Hope you enjoy.
You Know We're In A Recession
Don't I know this? I hear it everywhere I go. I've been affected by the recession, but is that an excuse for everything that we do or don't do? I think not!
Judging by the lines at Wal-Mart you wouldn't be able to tell that we're in a recession, they're still just as long and people are spending just as much on needless stuff. If money was so tight, you'd think people would only buy the essentials like food (I would say water, but you already get that in your home), light bulbs and the such, and other household supplies. However, I see people buying home theater systems...why? Your house is about to be taken from you, you better concentrate on your mortgage.
Here are some actual comments I've heard from people, were they playing around? I have no idea.
Guy 1 "Hey man, you got a job?"
Guy 2 "Nah... you know we in a recession."
Guy 1 "Well.... have you even looked for a job?"
Guy 2"Nah... you know we in a recession."
Guy 1 "Yo... Spell Recession!"
Guy 2 "R-E- Session."
Guy 1 "That's not how you spell recession."
Guy 2 "Well I can't afford to go to college you know we in a recession!"
I'm definitely not an economist... in fact I never even took an economics class. The closest I've ever been to economics is home economics in 9th grade...don't judge me.
I know that we're spending unnecessary money with the war on drugs... a billion dollars a year with basically no progress except overcrowded prisons and what does the govt turn to when the economy screws up? Drugs... California is thinking about legalizing marijuana and taxing it so it can stimulate the economy. That's what I call irony!!
We have prisoners in jail living better than decent hard working law abiding citizens. WTF? We're building new prisons every year. I believe Chris Rock said it best, "If you're living in an old project, a new jail don't seem that bad". No wonder the housing market is in such a crappy situation, you can get a brand new place to stay for 5 to 10 just by slapping a cop, no down payment, no leases, no landlords. I know people planning crimes around prison buildings. Like "dog as soon as they finish that prison, I'm robbing a liquor store".
We have prisoners on death row sitting around for 5+ years just taking up space. If the man is sentenced to die can't we just guillotine him renaissance style?
I know we got fair trials and everything like that, but if it was up to me all you'd get was the best out of 3. If you lose two out of 3 trials...your sentence stands. You better save your resources just in case!
It always bothers me that Americans are so nationalist when it's beneficial to them, but when it's time to actually come together and help one another, we feel the need to be individuals.
The taxing the rich so that the economy can kick start is a good example. Rich people are all for America until it's time to help the Americans. Then it's like... well why should I have to help them? All you rich corporate bastards, who do you think helped fill your pockets? Now you're so high and mighty you can't lend 10,000 of your 200,000+ a year salary to help out those in need? Do you really need a third vacation to the Bahamas? That's just the greed of man.
Another thing...the universal health care plan. I've heard why it's a bad idea, but really? Really? You'd let people die or not get treated just so you can save a pretty penny? You want some pennies? I got a coffee mug of them, you can have mine you pricks! I'm a human services guy so that explains my outrage, I go to the outer limits to try to help people within reason.
I'm not saying we should pay for those miniscule doctor visits, but if people are really ill or need emergency surgery and get pushed to the side so the nurse can check out a patient with a papercut just because he has the proper coverage whats the harm in helping them? I'd want help if it was me and I'm sure you all would too.
The problem most people have with this is that they're looking at the bottom from the top, once again greed. It's like I have a loaf of bread and I know people are starving, but why should I share my bread?
People get so funny when they talk about increasing taxes to help people out. Like we're so holy. You know people pay taxes for us to go to public schools too, did you have perfect attendance?
Case Closed
Judging by the lines at Wal-Mart you wouldn't be able to tell that we're in a recession, they're still just as long and people are spending just as much on needless stuff. If money was so tight, you'd think people would only buy the essentials like food (I would say water, but you already get that in your home), light bulbs and the such, and other household supplies. However, I see people buying home theater systems...why? Your house is about to be taken from you, you better concentrate on your mortgage.
Here are some actual comments I've heard from people, were they playing around? I have no idea.
Guy 1 "Hey man, you got a job?"
Guy 2 "Nah... you know we in a recession."
Guy 1 "Well.... have you even looked for a job?"
Guy 2"Nah... you know we in a recession."
Guy 1 "Yo... Spell Recession!"
Guy 2 "R-E- Session."
Guy 1 "That's not how you spell recession."
Guy 2 "Well I can't afford to go to college you know we in a recession!"
I'm definitely not an economist... in fact I never even took an economics class. The closest I've ever been to economics is home economics in 9th grade...don't judge me.
I know that we're spending unnecessary money with the war on drugs... a billion dollars a year with basically no progress except overcrowded prisons and what does the govt turn to when the economy screws up? Drugs... California is thinking about legalizing marijuana and taxing it so it can stimulate the economy. That's what I call irony!!
We have prisoners in jail living better than decent hard working law abiding citizens. WTF? We're building new prisons every year. I believe Chris Rock said it best, "If you're living in an old project, a new jail don't seem that bad". No wonder the housing market is in such a crappy situation, you can get a brand new place to stay for 5 to 10 just by slapping a cop, no down payment, no leases, no landlords. I know people planning crimes around prison buildings. Like "dog as soon as they finish that prison, I'm robbing a liquor store".
We have prisoners on death row sitting around for 5+ years just taking up space. If the man is sentenced to die can't we just guillotine him renaissance style?
I know we got fair trials and everything like that, but if it was up to me all you'd get was the best out of 3. If you lose two out of 3 trials...your sentence stands. You better save your resources just in case!
It always bothers me that Americans are so nationalist when it's beneficial to them, but when it's time to actually come together and help one another, we feel the need to be individuals.
The taxing the rich so that the economy can kick start is a good example. Rich people are all for America until it's time to help the Americans. Then it's like... well why should I have to help them? All you rich corporate bastards, who do you think helped fill your pockets? Now you're so high and mighty you can't lend 10,000 of your 200,000+ a year salary to help out those in need? Do you really need a third vacation to the Bahamas? That's just the greed of man.
Another thing...the universal health care plan. I've heard why it's a bad idea, but really? Really? You'd let people die or not get treated just so you can save a pretty penny? You want some pennies? I got a coffee mug of them, you can have mine you pricks! I'm a human services guy so that explains my outrage, I go to the outer limits to try to help people within reason.
I'm not saying we should pay for those miniscule doctor visits, but if people are really ill or need emergency surgery and get pushed to the side so the nurse can check out a patient with a papercut just because he has the proper coverage whats the harm in helping them? I'd want help if it was me and I'm sure you all would too.
The problem most people have with this is that they're looking at the bottom from the top, once again greed. It's like I have a loaf of bread and I know people are starving, but why should I share my bread?
People get so funny when they talk about increasing taxes to help people out. Like we're so holy. You know people pay taxes for us to go to public schools too, did you have perfect attendance?
Case Closed
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I'd Rather Pass Out Like A Man, Than Lie In Bed Like A Punk
So for those of you who don't know, I've been sick for the past 3 days. I'm just now getting my strength back both mentally and physically.
My mom and I usually go get groceries together on thursday, granted that I'm not working that day. Since I was sick, my mom decided to go without me, not a bad idea since I didnt get to sleep til about 6 am this morning and probably wouldn't have wanted to go. However, she did call me to let me know that she was almost home and needed help getting the bags out of the car since she bought alot of stuff (women be shopping!)
This is where the story really begins, just thought I'd give you some background.
So I'm almost done helping with the bags and I see there are two big packages of water the 35 pack (WTF? Must be a new promo or something, usually its 24). So My mom locks the car door and I'm like wait! There's still water in the car, she's like just let Cowboy (stepdad) get them when he gets home. I have no issue with my stepdad, he's very cool and we get along, my issue is that I'm still a fully capable guy and I'm here so let me get the water, if I pass out... oh well I didn't wimper in the bed and wait for someone to do the task for me.
To paint this portrait for you... I live in a house with 3 other men; my brother, my uncle, and my stepdad, it's like living in a lion's den. We joke each other, fight each other, then eat together like it's our last meal. And the guys I'm living with aren't passive either, they'll bust in your room and tackle you while you're ironing or pour icy cold water on you while you're in a nice relaxing hot shower... just ruthless.
This got me thinking how fragile men's egos are. Sad as it may be, our egos are our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. Our achilles heel if you will. Nothing hurts a man more than saying you'll get another man to do something that he should be able to do. So this note is for every man who didn't pull over to get directions, tried to fix his kitchen sink, or ever dreamt to be something great.
Keep up the good work fellas!
Now for the women, all women really know how to kill a man's spirit and hurt his ego. Some of you actually put this evil technique into practice and you should be stoned! However, sometimes the best motivation is spite... some guys find their way through their "shortcut" just as their wives' nagging reaches it's peak and guys never really rub it in about that, we just give you a look and a slight smile like "Voila!"
We don't do it because we're the "bigger person" we do it because we got lucky and don't want to ruin the effect that we knew where we were going when in reality we were sweating bullets looking for the next sign.
However, this will not become a woman bash fest... I do that in private! This is mainly a PSA because we both have a common adversary, men with over-inflated paper thin egos who can only return to their level of over-inflatedness when they do something destructive like break a glass, punch a wall, kick a baby, slap your mother you get the drift.. "those guys". Guys that can't take a simple correction before turning into the Hulk and going on a rampage. These men need to be destroyed or rehabilitated...whichever is easier... and cheaper you know it's a recession (had to plug that in)
No longer will women have to flinch after asking for her man to pass the salt. Fellas, we won't have to pick up the pieces when this dude screws up because he won't be around anymore and we'll get the whole thing! Together we can inspire change (Obama! Had to plug that too, lol)
-Roderic
My mom and I usually go get groceries together on thursday, granted that I'm not working that day. Since I was sick, my mom decided to go without me, not a bad idea since I didnt get to sleep til about 6 am this morning and probably wouldn't have wanted to go. However, she did call me to let me know that she was almost home and needed help getting the bags out of the car since she bought alot of stuff (women be shopping!)
This is where the story really begins, just thought I'd give you some background.
So I'm almost done helping with the bags and I see there are two big packages of water the 35 pack (WTF? Must be a new promo or something, usually its 24). So My mom locks the car door and I'm like wait! There's still water in the car, she's like just let Cowboy (stepdad) get them when he gets home. I have no issue with my stepdad, he's very cool and we get along, my issue is that I'm still a fully capable guy and I'm here so let me get the water, if I pass out... oh well I didn't wimper in the bed and wait for someone to do the task for me.
To paint this portrait for you... I live in a house with 3 other men; my brother, my uncle, and my stepdad, it's like living in a lion's den. We joke each other, fight each other, then eat together like it's our last meal. And the guys I'm living with aren't passive either, they'll bust in your room and tackle you while you're ironing or pour icy cold water on you while you're in a nice relaxing hot shower... just ruthless.
This got me thinking how fragile men's egos are. Sad as it may be, our egos are our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. Our achilles heel if you will. Nothing hurts a man more than saying you'll get another man to do something that he should be able to do. So this note is for every man who didn't pull over to get directions, tried to fix his kitchen sink, or ever dreamt to be something great.
Keep up the good work fellas!
Now for the women, all women really know how to kill a man's spirit and hurt his ego. Some of you actually put this evil technique into practice and you should be stoned! However, sometimes the best motivation is spite... some guys find their way through their "shortcut" just as their wives' nagging reaches it's peak and guys never really rub it in about that, we just give you a look and a slight smile like "Voila!"
We don't do it because we're the "bigger person" we do it because we got lucky and don't want to ruin the effect that we knew where we were going when in reality we were sweating bullets looking for the next sign.
However, this will not become a woman bash fest... I do that in private! This is mainly a PSA because we both have a common adversary, men with over-inflated paper thin egos who can only return to their level of over-inflatedness when they do something destructive like break a glass, punch a wall, kick a baby, slap your mother you get the drift.. "those guys". Guys that can't take a simple correction before turning into the Hulk and going on a rampage. These men need to be destroyed or rehabilitated...whichever is easier... and cheaper you know it's a recession (had to plug that in)
No longer will women have to flinch after asking for her man to pass the salt. Fellas, we won't have to pick up the pieces when this dude screws up because he won't be around anymore and we'll get the whole thing! Together we can inspire change (Obama! Had to plug that too, lol)
-Roderic
Sunday, February 22, 2009
A Thought On Relationships
This is mainly a regurgitation of what my pastor preached about in church today, but it moved me and stirred my thoughts quite a bit.
The person you're with is the person you asked for. They haven't changed at all, they've always been the same person. It's just that when youre meeting someone, you only get to see one side of them and humans are more than 2 dimensional so there's more than one side to a person. There's never any complaints when relationships are going fine, but the moment you have an argument or a disagreement, then he or she has changed, they haven't changed. When you find your significant other, if you find the right one they're supposed to be your other half, they're supposed to think of things that you don't and you won't always agree. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone like yourself, that's what friends are for you want someone who'll bring something new to the table. So don't think of differences as reasons to run away.
Times will eventually get hard, but when you are weak, your other half is strong and vice versa. Men do get weak, and we need a woman who can be strong when we get weak, not a woman who'll say "man up" all the time, because the world beats us up enough and if we get beat up at home, then there's no point in coming home.
Don't always listen to your friends when it comes to your relationship. Especially if they're telling you to leave your significant other. Some people are just jealous and misery loves company so people will say anything to see you just as miserable as them. Most of the time people tell their friends all their business and dont tell their partner their feelings and they get to that point where they get fed up because they have all these feelings that're building up and eventually it all comes out in one big explosion. Before that happens, try talking to your partner, before you get to "girl he got one more time" have a conversation with your partner and see if that doesn't improve your relationship.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. The 80/20 rule is in effect here. Don't think that just because somebody looks good and says exactly what you want them to say at that moment, that they're better than who you have. Some people treat a relationship like a job, they're just sticking around until they find a "better" job, what most people don't realize is that there aren't any better jobs there's just different jobs, every job has it's own drama and people you can't stand. There's people and things about every job that you don't like and just because a job pays more, doesn't make it a better job.
Don't go into a marriage, with the thought that if this doesn't work, I'm leaving because if you have that mentality, that you can get out, then you will get out. If you go into something and there's no way out, you'll find a way to make it work. That's why marriages in the old days lasted so long because there wasn't a divorce. You only got a divorce two ways, either the Pope granted it to you or you went to Vegas. If you believe that something will fail, then it will, don't ever believe that your relationship will fail and you always have a chance.
Love one another!
-Peace
The person you're with is the person you asked for. They haven't changed at all, they've always been the same person. It's just that when youre meeting someone, you only get to see one side of them and humans are more than 2 dimensional so there's more than one side to a person. There's never any complaints when relationships are going fine, but the moment you have an argument or a disagreement, then he or she has changed, they haven't changed. When you find your significant other, if you find the right one they're supposed to be your other half, they're supposed to think of things that you don't and you won't always agree. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone like yourself, that's what friends are for you want someone who'll bring something new to the table. So don't think of differences as reasons to run away.
Times will eventually get hard, but when you are weak, your other half is strong and vice versa. Men do get weak, and we need a woman who can be strong when we get weak, not a woman who'll say "man up" all the time, because the world beats us up enough and if we get beat up at home, then there's no point in coming home.
Don't always listen to your friends when it comes to your relationship. Especially if they're telling you to leave your significant other. Some people are just jealous and misery loves company so people will say anything to see you just as miserable as them. Most of the time people tell their friends all their business and dont tell their partner their feelings and they get to that point where they get fed up because they have all these feelings that're building up and eventually it all comes out in one big explosion. Before that happens, try talking to your partner, before you get to "girl he got one more time" have a conversation with your partner and see if that doesn't improve your relationship.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. The 80/20 rule is in effect here. Don't think that just because somebody looks good and says exactly what you want them to say at that moment, that they're better than who you have. Some people treat a relationship like a job, they're just sticking around until they find a "better" job, what most people don't realize is that there aren't any better jobs there's just different jobs, every job has it's own drama and people you can't stand. There's people and things about every job that you don't like and just because a job pays more, doesn't make it a better job.
Don't go into a marriage, with the thought that if this doesn't work, I'm leaving because if you have that mentality, that you can get out, then you will get out. If you go into something and there's no way out, you'll find a way to make it work. That's why marriages in the old days lasted so long because there wasn't a divorce. You only got a divorce two ways, either the Pope granted it to you or you went to Vegas. If you believe that something will fail, then it will, don't ever believe that your relationship will fail and you always have a chance.
Love one another!
-Peace
Friday, February 20, 2009
What Happened To The Voices?
I was listening to some old school r & b on my way home from class and I was wondering what happened to the male r and b singers? Is it me or are their voices becoming weaker and weaker? I mean back in the day they had Rick James ( Fire & Desire is still the best duet ever made, I don't care what anyone says), Luther, Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Teddy Pendergrass, Peabo Bryson (Feel The Fire! What?!?), you get the point. Now it seems like all we have are a bunch of substitute teachers. I always figured that if I had the talent to sing well, I'd want to sing like Peabo Bryson... and I'd sing "I'm So Into You" to a girl and sweep her off her feet, hopeless romantic fantasies I know, but bear with me.
It seems that the caliber of voices has steadily gone down. I mean in the 90s we had Boyz 2 Men and Dru Hill, Brian McKnight, Babyface, Joe, Jodeci, Silk, R Kelly. They were our equivalents of Luther and them. However, as great as they were, our parents would tell us in a minute that they couldn't hold a candle to Stevie Wonder. Since the 90s, the talent has just considerably gotten worse. I'm not saying that the guys out now are bad singers, it just seems like theire voices aren't strong. Female vocalists still have powerful voices. We got Jennifer Hudson who has a great voice, Beyonce is a great singer when she's singing and not man bashing, Jazmine Sullivan is the new kid, but still can blow, Keyshia Cole is coming into her own, but people still question her talent, mary J is still putting in work. So the female side is still killing the r & b scene. Who do the men have out now that is decent? We have Musiq who's a great singer, Jamie Foxx who has a great voice, Ne-Yo, writes some of the best material, and John Legend who people think is bringing back that old school feeling, but I haven't really liked anything he's put out since his first album. Other than that we have a bunch of teenyboppers and swooners. Guys that can't sing great, but their looks keep the girlies squealing (Trey Songz, comes to mind, no homo).
So what is the problem? Is it the content? It can't be that because Rick James wrote about sex all the time (give it to me, super freak), so when people argue that the music has become mysogynistic...I say nah! The lyrics were more subtle back then, because Billy Paul wrote about having an affair with "Mrs. Jones" and I didn't know what the hell he was talking about for the longest time. Now the lyrics are more up front, is it because our generation has the vocabulary of a twelve year old? Or are songwriters just trying to appeal to a wider audience? I think that may be the problem, trying to appeal to a younger audience. No one makes grown and sexy music anymore.
Another theory is that male r & b artists don't have any soul anymore, they don't make you feel the music like the old schoolers did. That could be true, I find myself relating to the older music more than the new school music, but is that the lack of soul or me just growing up?
The sad part is that it's only on the male side that I'm feeling this contempt because I love Jazmine Sullivan, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia, Jordin Sparks, Alicia Keys, and sometimes Beyonce and Keyshia Cole, when they're not man bashing. I feel their songs, but Trey, Chris Brown (Pre-battered woman), Omarion, Marques Houston, B5, Ruben, etc. I'm not feeling, maybe because they're not singing to me or about me, but then again neither was Luther(....I think) and I felt his music.
What do you guys think, is male r & b music declining or is it just me?
It seems that the caliber of voices has steadily gone down. I mean in the 90s we had Boyz 2 Men and Dru Hill, Brian McKnight, Babyface, Joe, Jodeci, Silk, R Kelly. They were our equivalents of Luther and them. However, as great as they were, our parents would tell us in a minute that they couldn't hold a candle to Stevie Wonder. Since the 90s, the talent has just considerably gotten worse. I'm not saying that the guys out now are bad singers, it just seems like theire voices aren't strong. Female vocalists still have powerful voices. We got Jennifer Hudson who has a great voice, Beyonce is a great singer when she's singing and not man bashing, Jazmine Sullivan is the new kid, but still can blow, Keyshia Cole is coming into her own, but people still question her talent, mary J is still putting in work. So the female side is still killing the r & b scene. Who do the men have out now that is decent? We have Musiq who's a great singer, Jamie Foxx who has a great voice, Ne-Yo, writes some of the best material, and John Legend who people think is bringing back that old school feeling, but I haven't really liked anything he's put out since his first album. Other than that we have a bunch of teenyboppers and swooners. Guys that can't sing great, but their looks keep the girlies squealing (Trey Songz, comes to mind, no homo).
So what is the problem? Is it the content? It can't be that because Rick James wrote about sex all the time (give it to me, super freak), so when people argue that the music has become mysogynistic...I say nah! The lyrics were more subtle back then, because Billy Paul wrote about having an affair with "Mrs. Jones" and I didn't know what the hell he was talking about for the longest time. Now the lyrics are more up front, is it because our generation has the vocabulary of a twelve year old? Or are songwriters just trying to appeal to a wider audience? I think that may be the problem, trying to appeal to a younger audience. No one makes grown and sexy music anymore.
Another theory is that male r & b artists don't have any soul anymore, they don't make you feel the music like the old schoolers did. That could be true, I find myself relating to the older music more than the new school music, but is that the lack of soul or me just growing up?
The sad part is that it's only on the male side that I'm feeling this contempt because I love Jazmine Sullivan, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia, Jordin Sparks, Alicia Keys, and sometimes Beyonce and Keyshia Cole, when they're not man bashing. I feel their songs, but Trey, Chris Brown (Pre-battered woman), Omarion, Marques Houston, B5, Ruben, etc. I'm not feeling, maybe because they're not singing to me or about me, but then again neither was Luther(....I think) and I felt his music.
What do you guys think, is male r & b music declining or is it just me?
Monday, February 9, 2009
I Never Looked In The Mirror And Wanted To Be Someone Other Than Me
I never looked in the mirror and wanted to be someone other than me.
I envy no man because I know that somewhere someone envies me and because I am envied I never look at others and wish to be them. I look at all the beautiful things around me and try my best not to take those things for granted.
I know that noone enjoys being stopped by the cops and having to pay a fine, but there are too many people who were stopped by the cops and paid a fine with their lives. So you know what, I'll pay your $125.00 ticket because I know in the grand scheme of things $125.00 is incomparable to the price of my life.
I hate smudges on my white shoes too, but I am not going to take a life because my $65.00 Nikes that I chose to wear to a club where foot stomps are notorious are no longer flawless whe children walk barefoot across burning deserts each day for 65 cents.
I know that I am envied so I take care to cherish everything in my world. In a world where some people take their family for granted using babies as paychecks when some women pray every night that they can get pregnant to have a child to give their hearts to.
I never took shame in being a mama's boy, better a mama's boy than a daddy's boy because papa was a rolling stone and I could never roll fast enough to keep up with his pace.
I never complain when I'm given extra condiments on my sandwiches because I know that there are people who's bellies are swollen due to malnourishment while I pick off the very vitamins and nutrients that could save lives. I don't watch infomercials about people dieting going from a size 3 to a size 0 because they wanted to fit in the clothes they wore in high school at age 45. News flash, get a grip, it's callind growing up for a reason, that's why your clothes don't fit.
I never looked in the mirror and wanted to be someone other than me. And being me is good enough for me.
Peace!
I envy no man because I know that somewhere someone envies me and because I am envied I never look at others and wish to be them. I look at all the beautiful things around me and try my best not to take those things for granted.
I know that noone enjoys being stopped by the cops and having to pay a fine, but there are too many people who were stopped by the cops and paid a fine with their lives. So you know what, I'll pay your $125.00 ticket because I know in the grand scheme of things $125.00 is incomparable to the price of my life.
I hate smudges on my white shoes too, but I am not going to take a life because my $65.00 Nikes that I chose to wear to a club where foot stomps are notorious are no longer flawless whe children walk barefoot across burning deserts each day for 65 cents.
I know that I am envied so I take care to cherish everything in my world. In a world where some people take their family for granted using babies as paychecks when some women pray every night that they can get pregnant to have a child to give their hearts to.
I never took shame in being a mama's boy, better a mama's boy than a daddy's boy because papa was a rolling stone and I could never roll fast enough to keep up with his pace.
I never complain when I'm given extra condiments on my sandwiches because I know that there are people who's bellies are swollen due to malnourishment while I pick off the very vitamins and nutrients that could save lives. I don't watch infomercials about people dieting going from a size 3 to a size 0 because they wanted to fit in the clothes they wore in high school at age 45. News flash, get a grip, it's callind growing up for a reason, that's why your clothes don't fit.
I never looked in the mirror and wanted to be someone other than me. And being me is good enough for me.
Peace!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
They're Building Jails For Our Kids!
The government is building jails based on the test scores of 3rd graders.
As a human being, I find this to be extremely contradictory, especially of America who is the "greatest nation".
Do we have such little faith in our educational system that we can't prevent our 3rd graders from being criminals? I mean have we exhausted EVERY other option? Are there no after-school programs, no mentoring programs, no way to get parents involved? Is this the ONLY alternative?
This is how much faith the government has in America's youth, the ones that will someday grow up to lead this country. We're really giving them a reason to trust the government.
Can we take lil Timmy's name off of that jail cell and find a better use for the money? I read an article where an elderly black woman was complaining because her issue was that we're giving the people this money and they're going to turn our children into prisoners, but if we gave that money to her, she could turn that same child into anything but a prisoner.
You think I want to hear that? I have little cousins who'll be in the 3rd grade soon and I'll be damned if they're going to be a prisoner in this brand new hell you're concocting. If anything I'll be in jail before them because if they even think about locking up one of my little cousins, and you can quote me on this, that prison will blow up like the Godfather!
How are we not outraged at this as parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents? We are aware that they're building these prisons for our children so why aren't we doing everything to prevent this from occurring? I say we do our best to prevent any one of our children from becoming a criminal and make those prisons nothing more than a monument for the idiocy of the government. Real talk!
-Roderic
As a human being, I find this to be extremely contradictory, especially of America who is the "greatest nation".
Do we have such little faith in our educational system that we can't prevent our 3rd graders from being criminals? I mean have we exhausted EVERY other option? Are there no after-school programs, no mentoring programs, no way to get parents involved? Is this the ONLY alternative?
This is how much faith the government has in America's youth, the ones that will someday grow up to lead this country. We're really giving them a reason to trust the government.
Can we take lil Timmy's name off of that jail cell and find a better use for the money? I read an article where an elderly black woman was complaining because her issue was that we're giving the people this money and they're going to turn our children into prisoners, but if we gave that money to her, she could turn that same child into anything but a prisoner.
You think I want to hear that? I have little cousins who'll be in the 3rd grade soon and I'll be damned if they're going to be a prisoner in this brand new hell you're concocting. If anything I'll be in jail before them because if they even think about locking up one of my little cousins, and you can quote me on this, that prison will blow up like the Godfather!
How are we not outraged at this as parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents? We are aware that they're building these prisons for our children so why aren't we doing everything to prevent this from occurring? I say we do our best to prevent any one of our children from becoming a criminal and make those prisons nothing more than a monument for the idiocy of the government. Real talk!
-Roderic
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
This Really Bothers Me...
I was scouring the message boards on imdb.com because that's what I like to do in my spare time. I was reading what people had to say about Why Did I Get Married, since it was the last movie I'd seen recently. One guy writes how much he hates Tyler Perry movies and that he doesn't have any talent and how he could make better movies and blah blah blah.
Let's pause that for just a second. If you do not like a movie for whatever reason, that's your right as an American citizen, you don't have to like movies. Why do people take time out of their lives to write a crazy rant about how much they dislike a movie is beyond me. I know for a fact I wouldn't enjoy Bride Wars, but you won't catch me on rogerebert.com talking about how much the movie sucked. Also why is it that when people don't like something, they claim that the person has no talent? Sure Tyler Perry isn't going to win an Oscar anytime soon, but to say the man is untalented? He has millions of dollars that say otherwise. He has millions of fans that say otherwise. I'm no fan of country western singers either, but I won't deny that the singers have a talent that I don't. Why do we hate everything associated with what we do not like?
Another poster was outraged about "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" winning an Oscar for best song and he stated that rap music has no place in society, but he thought Terrance Howard deserved to win an Oscar for playing a rapper.... WTF?!?! Why do people like this exist? He's one huge contradiction. If rap has no place in society then what the hell does the actor playing the rapper do?
My whole argument is, if you don't like the music, fine you don't have to. Don't say it doesn't have a place in society because a lot of great moments in history have occurred due to rappers, I'm not saying that they're saints because most of them aren't, but they have a place in society and I'd shutter to think what the world would be like without my rap music!
But I digress, what is the purpose behind all this hatred? Is it prejudice or racism being disguised as a lack of preference or am I just overreacting again?
Let's pause that for just a second. If you do not like a movie for whatever reason, that's your right as an American citizen, you don't have to like movies. Why do people take time out of their lives to write a crazy rant about how much they dislike a movie is beyond me. I know for a fact I wouldn't enjoy Bride Wars, but you won't catch me on rogerebert.com talking about how much the movie sucked. Also why is it that when people don't like something, they claim that the person has no talent? Sure Tyler Perry isn't going to win an Oscar anytime soon, but to say the man is untalented? He has millions of dollars that say otherwise. He has millions of fans that say otherwise. I'm no fan of country western singers either, but I won't deny that the singers have a talent that I don't. Why do we hate everything associated with what we do not like?
Another poster was outraged about "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" winning an Oscar for best song and he stated that rap music has no place in society, but he thought Terrance Howard deserved to win an Oscar for playing a rapper.... WTF?!?! Why do people like this exist? He's one huge contradiction. If rap has no place in society then what the hell does the actor playing the rapper do?
My whole argument is, if you don't like the music, fine you don't have to. Don't say it doesn't have a place in society because a lot of great moments in history have occurred due to rappers, I'm not saying that they're saints because most of them aren't, but they have a place in society and I'd shutter to think what the world would be like without my rap music!
But I digress, what is the purpose behind all this hatred? Is it prejudice or racism being disguised as a lack of preference or am I just overreacting again?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Should You ALWAYS Tell The Truth?
I've never been a man to use absolutes, to think that honesty is something that is always expected is juvenile. People that speak their minds all the time are always labeled as the jerks. Just think about it, if someone told you exactly what they were thinking whenever you asked all the time, half of the time they would say something you wouldn't want to hear. People don't always want the truth. They want to hear that they're perfect, it feeds their ego. No one wants to really sit down and talk about their flaws.
I believe that people have moral complexes that keep them from telling the truth. I wonder do other species have the communication issues that we humans have? When Rover comes home late, is his wife waiting at the doggy door asking him where he's been and why there's kibbles n bits on his breath when they only have Iams?
The truth is relative to the situation I think. Lies never hurt anyone, it's when lies come to the surface that people get hurt. Think about it, if you tell your g/f you've only been with 3 women, when you've really been with 7 women and the topic never comes up again... no harm done. I have more faith in people than I should. I like to think that decent people won't lie to you about something that's important, but I'm usually wrong. I guess I have a naiveity because the truth is, there's a 50/50 chance that what you're hearing out of someone's mouth is a lie. Now you can either be suspect of everything that someone says and live your life in a paranoid delirium. Or you can accept that people are human, if you've lied before, odds are that person has lied before and probably will lie to you at one point and you to them.
Lying is a vicious, but necessary circle. Parents lie, lovers lie, politicians lie, teachers lie, the damage done is only relative to the situation. Just my thoughts, what do you guys think?
I believe that people have moral complexes that keep them from telling the truth. I wonder do other species have the communication issues that we humans have? When Rover comes home late, is his wife waiting at the doggy door asking him where he's been and why there's kibbles n bits on his breath when they only have Iams?
The truth is relative to the situation I think. Lies never hurt anyone, it's when lies come to the surface that people get hurt. Think about it, if you tell your g/f you've only been with 3 women, when you've really been with 7 women and the topic never comes up again... no harm done. I have more faith in people than I should. I like to think that decent people won't lie to you about something that's important, but I'm usually wrong. I guess I have a naiveity because the truth is, there's a 50/50 chance that what you're hearing out of someone's mouth is a lie. Now you can either be suspect of everything that someone says and live your life in a paranoid delirium. Or you can accept that people are human, if you've lied before, odds are that person has lied before and probably will lie to you at one point and you to them.
Lying is a vicious, but necessary circle. Parents lie, lovers lie, politicians lie, teachers lie, the damage done is only relative to the situation. Just my thoughts, what do you guys think?
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Do Fame And Money Make You Sexy?
This is just a contemplation of mine. I was thinking of this earlier when someone told me that Will Smith was sexy in I, Robot. I was thinking, people weren't really talking about how much sex appeal Will Smith had back in the Fresh Prince days. It seems that ever since he started banking 100+ million a movie that he just became a sex symbol overnight.
I mean if having money makes you more appealing to the opposite sex people can stop wasting their money on cosmetics and gyms and apply their time and money to libraries and businesses because having a million dollars is just like have a set of rock hard abs or a perfect ass.
Is the reason people worship celebrities and actors because of their talent or their bankroll because not all celebrities are attractive. Flava Flav had 20 women pining over him not once, not twice, but thrice! Why!?! If Flava Flav can have 60 women fighting and shitting on themselves for him, I should be able to get at least 70 right?
NOT! I'm not in the limelight. I don't make six figures, I don't have a camera in my face 24/7 and walk around in a viking helmet all day.
Those reality shows should be living proof that fame makes you sexier, look at New York, Real, Chance, Tila Tequila, all these people were nobodies before they were given fame from someone who themselves didn't really have notable fame themselves. Now look at who they're rolling with! You think New York would've been able to pull half the dudes she did on her show? What about Real and Chance? You think if they were just regular bums on the street women would be willing to get tattoos of their name on themselves? HELL NO! Or as my mom says H to the N!
So what do you guys think? Fame and Money = Sexified?
I mean if having money makes you more appealing to the opposite sex people can stop wasting their money on cosmetics and gyms and apply their time and money to libraries and businesses because having a million dollars is just like have a set of rock hard abs or a perfect ass.
Is the reason people worship celebrities and actors because of their talent or their bankroll because not all celebrities are attractive. Flava Flav had 20 women pining over him not once, not twice, but thrice! Why!?! If Flava Flav can have 60 women fighting and shitting on themselves for him, I should be able to get at least 70 right?
NOT! I'm not in the limelight. I don't make six figures, I don't have a camera in my face 24/7 and walk around in a viking helmet all day.
Those reality shows should be living proof that fame makes you sexier, look at New York, Real, Chance, Tila Tequila, all these people were nobodies before they were given fame from someone who themselves didn't really have notable fame themselves. Now look at who they're rolling with! You think New York would've been able to pull half the dudes she did on her show? What about Real and Chance? You think if they were just regular bums on the street women would be willing to get tattoos of their name on themselves? HELL NO! Or as my mom says H to the N!
So what do you guys think? Fame and Money = Sexified?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Is Hollywood Racist?
I like to think not, but the evidence is piling up in favor of a yes answer. Is it a coincidence that one of the longest standing t.v. sitcoms of all time only had a handful of african-americans on the show? I'm talking about Friends. Friends lasted forever didn't it? We can barely get an black sitcom to last an hour.
"But Roderic, that's not racist, do you know how many sitcoms aimed at White audiences got cancelled?"
No I don't, but I know how many that didn't by looking at my t.v. guide. When's the last Pre-Tyler Perry that a black sitcom reigned supreme? The Cosby Show? Family Matters? Good Times? The Fresh Prince? Martin? How come we aren't getting any new sitcoms at an alarming rate? I mean I guess because the population is majority caucasian, then it'd make sense for television to be majority white as well.
I know, I know it sounds ignorant because there are black sitcoms, mixed sitcoms, and it's just insane to think that Hollywood Execs are against engaging black sitcoms on television. I hope I'm just being paranoid.
What do you guys think?
"But Roderic, that's not racist, do you know how many sitcoms aimed at White audiences got cancelled?"
No I don't, but I know how many that didn't by looking at my t.v. guide. When's the last Pre-Tyler Perry that a black sitcom reigned supreme? The Cosby Show? Family Matters? Good Times? The Fresh Prince? Martin? How come we aren't getting any new sitcoms at an alarming rate? I mean I guess because the population is majority caucasian, then it'd make sense for television to be majority white as well.
I know, I know it sounds ignorant because there are black sitcoms, mixed sitcoms, and it's just insane to think that Hollywood Execs are against engaging black sitcoms on television. I hope I'm just being paranoid.
What do you guys think?
What Makes A Great Marriage? (In My Opinion)
I wish there were a formula that was absolutely fool-proof in its effectiveness to improve a marriage. The sad fact of the matter is that people are different and different ideas and plans work for different people. One of my professors told me that he knows everything there is to know about women because he understands that he knows absolutely nothing about women, but that keeps him from putting his biases and misconceptions onto the women he comes in contact with.
I believe that listening to one another and not to a television screen or a magazine will greatly improve the quality of a marriage. There is always an expert or celebrity that knows so much about marriage that he or she is going to tell you how to fix your relationship when the individual doesn't even know you or your situation. I say listen to the one that matters, your spouse because at the end of the day the person who wrote the book is not going to be the one laying next to you. Communication is a huge factor in the improvement of marriages and it is okay if you or your spouse are unsure about how to react to certain situations in your relationship, especially if you're newlyweds. There's nothing about marriage that says you need to be an expert on relationships in order to enter into this matrimony. Do not think that just because you have been married before that you know everything about marriages. A marriage is a learning experience, just because you pass a class does not qualify you to be the teacher.
Another issue I believe that will halt the progress of a marriage is the belief that more sex equals a better relationship. Once again I believe that this is relative. I think that if a relationship is suffering in the intimacy category, then by all means a more active sex life will more than likely help, but we do not need every couple thinking that they need to pop Viagra, have threesomes, or dress up like playboy bunnies to have a great marriage. I think that because we put so much emphasis on waiting until you're in love to have sex that people believe that more sex is equivalent to more love, which would make sense if people ONLY had sex when they were in love, but as we have seen, you do not need to be in love to have sex.
Finally, I believe that a commitment to being a unit is necessary for a great marriage. Too many people believe that marriage is about them. Marriage is not a one puppet show, it involves two people. That whole selfish mentality has to end in order for a marriage to be successful. Sacrifices and compromises will be made, but in sacrificing a bit of your independence, you gain a partner for life. You have someone you can share with, grow with, and most importantly, if you are as committed as your partner, you have someone that will love you unconditionally.
I believe that listening to one another and not to a television screen or a magazine will greatly improve the quality of a marriage. There is always an expert or celebrity that knows so much about marriage that he or she is going to tell you how to fix your relationship when the individual doesn't even know you or your situation. I say listen to the one that matters, your spouse because at the end of the day the person who wrote the book is not going to be the one laying next to you. Communication is a huge factor in the improvement of marriages and it is okay if you or your spouse are unsure about how to react to certain situations in your relationship, especially if you're newlyweds. There's nothing about marriage that says you need to be an expert on relationships in order to enter into this matrimony. Do not think that just because you have been married before that you know everything about marriages. A marriage is a learning experience, just because you pass a class does not qualify you to be the teacher.
Another issue I believe that will halt the progress of a marriage is the belief that more sex equals a better relationship. Once again I believe that this is relative. I think that if a relationship is suffering in the intimacy category, then by all means a more active sex life will more than likely help, but we do not need every couple thinking that they need to pop Viagra, have threesomes, or dress up like playboy bunnies to have a great marriage. I think that because we put so much emphasis on waiting until you're in love to have sex that people believe that more sex is equivalent to more love, which would make sense if people ONLY had sex when they were in love, but as we have seen, you do not need to be in love to have sex.
Finally, I believe that a commitment to being a unit is necessary for a great marriage. Too many people believe that marriage is about them. Marriage is not a one puppet show, it involves two people. That whole selfish mentality has to end in order for a marriage to be successful. Sacrifices and compromises will be made, but in sacrificing a bit of your independence, you gain a partner for life. You have someone you can share with, grow with, and most importantly, if you are as committed as your partner, you have someone that will love you unconditionally.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Dentist, AKA Hostel With An MD
What is it about the dentist that makes people so afraid to go to the dentist?
On the Eve of my wisdom teeth pulling I have decided to list a few reasons why I don't particularly like the dentist.
1. They're dealing with your mouth, and apparently the most intimate thing you can do to something is put it in your mouth, so they're already invading my space by poking and proding around in my mouth.
2. I don't like the taste of latex gloves. (There was this joke about a prostitute who went to the dentist and had a flashback when he put his gloved finger in her mouth, it's gross I know)
3. Even after they clean your teeth, your teeth never look like the people in the commercials. You might have just unusually white teeth, but for the majority of the people in the world, our teeth never look super bright white after a dentist cleans them, not unless you get the Power Clean (thanks Keith), which sounds more scary than beneficial.
4. There's rarely any good news when you leave the dentist, not unless you have super perfect teeth, or fake teeth. At least if you're in good health with the doctor they don't need to yank, drill, or fill any crevices you have. You always either have a cavity, need braces, need a tooth pulled, or something. Like if you go to the doctor for a backache, he's not usually going to shove a needle into your spine and pull out a piece of bone, he's going to give prescribe you some pain meds, maybe go see a chiropractor and get a deep tissue massage. If you go to the dentist for a toothache, it's ALWAYS serious and it usually involves stabbing a needle into your gums and doing something ridiculous. They always say the same thing too when they're about to stick you, either you'll feel a little pinch or don't worry I'm gentle. Last time I checked, there was no gentle way to stick a needle into someone.
5. Why does it seem like everything the dentist uses is sharp? The curvy pick thing, the straight pointy utensil, the floss, the toothbrush, the mirror. They always want to poke at your gums and your tongue which cause them to bleed and then they have the nerve to tell you something you already know. Your gums are sensitive. NO SHIT SHERLOCK! They're thin and fleshy of course they're sensitive. I didn't need you to stab my mouth with a razor blade to figure that out. There's this theory that dentists and doctors actually have a want to inflict pain onto others but they can't do that in society without being labeled psychotic so they find a socially acceptable way to inflict pain to other people. Think of that when you're at the doctor/dentist next time.
Tomorrow at 9 am the wisdom teeth come out, wish me a speedy recovery, and if you wanna visit me, feel free to do so I'll be home for the rest of the week healing up. Bring ice cream or you ain't gettin in the door!
-Roderic
On the Eve of my wisdom teeth pulling I have decided to list a few reasons why I don't particularly like the dentist.
1. They're dealing with your mouth, and apparently the most intimate thing you can do to something is put it in your mouth, so they're already invading my space by poking and proding around in my mouth.
2. I don't like the taste of latex gloves. (There was this joke about a prostitute who went to the dentist and had a flashback when he put his gloved finger in her mouth, it's gross I know)
3. Even after they clean your teeth, your teeth never look like the people in the commercials. You might have just unusually white teeth, but for the majority of the people in the world, our teeth never look super bright white after a dentist cleans them, not unless you get the Power Clean (thanks Keith), which sounds more scary than beneficial.
4. There's rarely any good news when you leave the dentist, not unless you have super perfect teeth, or fake teeth. At least if you're in good health with the doctor they don't need to yank, drill, or fill any crevices you have. You always either have a cavity, need braces, need a tooth pulled, or something. Like if you go to the doctor for a backache, he's not usually going to shove a needle into your spine and pull out a piece of bone, he's going to give prescribe you some pain meds, maybe go see a chiropractor and get a deep tissue massage. If you go to the dentist for a toothache, it's ALWAYS serious and it usually involves stabbing a needle into your gums and doing something ridiculous. They always say the same thing too when they're about to stick you, either you'll feel a little pinch or don't worry I'm gentle. Last time I checked, there was no gentle way to stick a needle into someone.
5. Why does it seem like everything the dentist uses is sharp? The curvy pick thing, the straight pointy utensil, the floss, the toothbrush, the mirror. They always want to poke at your gums and your tongue which cause them to bleed and then they have the nerve to tell you something you already know. Your gums are sensitive. NO SHIT SHERLOCK! They're thin and fleshy of course they're sensitive. I didn't need you to stab my mouth with a razor blade to figure that out. There's this theory that dentists and doctors actually have a want to inflict pain onto others but they can't do that in society without being labeled psychotic so they find a socially acceptable way to inflict pain to other people. Think of that when you're at the doctor/dentist next time.
Tomorrow at 9 am the wisdom teeth come out, wish me a speedy recovery, and if you wanna visit me, feel free to do so I'll be home for the rest of the week healing up. Bring ice cream or you ain't gettin in the door!
-Roderic
I Don't Even Know You And I Hate Your Guts
This note is to talk about a very very prominent issue that has run amuck throughout this generation. That issue is... Hating.
Why do people hate on others?
Are we ignorant to the fact that everyone has different genes, experiences, upbringings, tastes, likes, dislikes, finances, and access to materials?
Here are some rules that should quell the hating phenomenon
1. If you don't like what i'm wearing, that's fine because YOU don't have to be seen in it.
This rule is self explanatory... if you hate my outfit, that's cool, it's my outfit not yours, I have to walk around with it in not you.
2. If you like what I'm wearing, don't say I'm whack.
Classic line when someone is admiring your threads or what have you and they don't want you to know that they think you have good taste in clothes, cars, sneakers, whatever.
3. If someone says "Stop Hatin" and your response is "Ain't nobody hatin on you", then you're HATIN!
That's the number 1 lines that follows the line "stop hatin" and it's the fool proof way to tell if someone is hatin on you.
4. If someone is wearing the same outfit that you are, they're not wearing YOUR dress or YOUR sweater, they're wearing Forever 21's sweater. (Or wherever you get your particular merchandise)
You knew there was more than one when you went in the store... there's a whole shelf of them! Did you really think no one would ever buy that sweater and wear it on the same night as you? Especially if you pick a holiday like New Years... don't be surprised to see someone with your outfit on.
5. Don't Hate, Appreciate.
Need I say more?
Learn to live by these rules and we can be hater free by the Summer.
-Roderic
Why do people hate on others?
Are we ignorant to the fact that everyone has different genes, experiences, upbringings, tastes, likes, dislikes, finances, and access to materials?
Here are some rules that should quell the hating phenomenon
1. If you don't like what i'm wearing, that's fine because YOU don't have to be seen in it.
This rule is self explanatory... if you hate my outfit, that's cool, it's my outfit not yours, I have to walk around with it in not you.
2. If you like what I'm wearing, don't say I'm whack.
Classic line when someone is admiring your threads or what have you and they don't want you to know that they think you have good taste in clothes, cars, sneakers, whatever.
3. If someone says "Stop Hatin" and your response is "Ain't nobody hatin on you", then you're HATIN!
That's the number 1 lines that follows the line "stop hatin" and it's the fool proof way to tell if someone is hatin on you.
4. If someone is wearing the same outfit that you are, they're not wearing YOUR dress or YOUR sweater, they're wearing Forever 21's sweater. (Or wherever you get your particular merchandise)
You knew there was more than one when you went in the store... there's a whole shelf of them! Did you really think no one would ever buy that sweater and wear it on the same night as you? Especially if you pick a holiday like New Years... don't be surprised to see someone with your outfit on.
5. Don't Hate, Appreciate.
Need I say more?
Learn to live by these rules and we can be hater free by the Summer.
-Roderic
The N-Word Controversy
I've been asked how I feel about the n-word and the "funeral" for the n-word that the NAACP had a few months ago. Here are my thoughts:
I feel that if we're going to have a funeral for the word Nigger then we need to have a funeral for all racial slurs for all races. I mean Nigger isn't the only racial slur for black people that's out there why not kill off "coon" and "monkey" while we're at it.
Also, why not kill off the word "Chink" and "Spic" and "Wetback" while we're at it. Just because african americans happen to be the second largest ethnic group in the U.S right now doesn't make the other races' struggle any less important. In about 5 years the Hispanics will be larger than african americans. Even with white people, how can we claim to want to destroy a racial slur when black people still say "cracker ass cracker"? Sure it's not nearly as oppressive as the other racial slurs because white people haven't ever been oppressed, but it's a racial slur all the same. I think racial slurs should be limited to their respective races, if white people want to walk around calling each other "cracker" I have no issue with that, because I've said the n-word, I continue to say the n-word and I will say it in the future. As long as a person of another race doesn't address me or any african american using the n-word, I pledge to never say any racial slurs about any other race.
Also, white people are very creative people, and who knows what racial slur they'll come up with if they don't say the n-word anymore? I for one, don't want to find out how creative they can be.
And if you're wondering about what to call me, should you call me a black man or african -american. I'll tell you what I prefer, Roderic. Plain and simple.
-Roderic
I feel that if we're going to have a funeral for the word Nigger then we need to have a funeral for all racial slurs for all races. I mean Nigger isn't the only racial slur for black people that's out there why not kill off "coon" and "monkey" while we're at it.
Also, why not kill off the word "Chink" and "Spic" and "Wetback" while we're at it. Just because african americans happen to be the second largest ethnic group in the U.S right now doesn't make the other races' struggle any less important. In about 5 years the Hispanics will be larger than african americans. Even with white people, how can we claim to want to destroy a racial slur when black people still say "cracker ass cracker"? Sure it's not nearly as oppressive as the other racial slurs because white people haven't ever been oppressed, but it's a racial slur all the same. I think racial slurs should be limited to their respective races, if white people want to walk around calling each other "cracker" I have no issue with that, because I've said the n-word, I continue to say the n-word and I will say it in the future. As long as a person of another race doesn't address me or any african american using the n-word, I pledge to never say any racial slurs about any other race.
Also, white people are very creative people, and who knows what racial slur they'll come up with if they don't say the n-word anymore? I for one, don't want to find out how creative they can be.
And if you're wondering about what to call me, should you call me a black man or african -american. I'll tell you what I prefer, Roderic. Plain and simple.
-Roderic
The Dumbest Generation
Right now I'm reading a book called "The Dumbest Generation... aka Don't Trust Anyone Under 30".
This book that I'm reading, ironically is about how our generation doesn't read books anymore. It talks about with all the technology and gadgetry that is at our disposal, we're actually becoming dumber as far as knowing history, writing, civics, politics, etc.
Teenagers actually gloat about not knowing who's running for president, but yet they know who won american idol last season. When they're confronted about this phenomenon they state "American idol is more important".
Technology is fantastic, but it's killing our abilities to write, spell, put together sentences, etc. When was the last time you actually had to find out how to spell a word? When I was younger, I had to look up words in the dictionary, now I don't even own a dictonary, except for the computer, hehe. BUT with microsoft office, you just click spellcheck and the problem is fixed. No longer do you have to proofread your essays before you turn them in you just wait for office to show you that gree squiggly line and you're that much closer to an A.
This book is hitting me twice as hard, both as a member of the targeted generation and as a black person. You know the joke that says if you want to hide your money from a black person, hide it in your books because black people don't read. Well I'm determined to break from that stereotype.
The book talks about the internet and how even with probably a million+ books at our disposal we'd rather use the internet for instant messaging, youtubing, and myspacing. There are those who claim that not reading books is just a cultural shift because things are changing, the youth's attention spans are quickening and they have no time to sit still for 2-3 hours to read a book.
You would think that all the testing and challenges academically in this generation that students would be more intelligent, but if they used the standards of measurement for intelligence for this generation that they used for the previous generation, then our IQ would be about an 80 when compared to the previou generations. What's the big difference you might ask between this generation and the previous generation? They read more, all other variables were kept constant.
It's not school and class that really makes us better writers, testtakers, speakers, it's the books. They improve vocabulary, sentence structure, reading ability, and comprehension. This is important on I don't know... the SAT, LSAT, GMAT, GRE which all have reading comprehension sections and some sort of writing section.
The crazy part is, we spend hours and hours in front of the t.v. paying money for cable and electricity when books are for the most part free at the library, and there are billions of periodicals and magazines online for free.
I'm not telling anybody this to say that i'm better or I'm such a well read individual because to be honest, I just started reading for leisure over the summer and I'm reading more and more everyday. Another sad fact is the author classified reading as any literary work, you could've read a comic book, and our generation still didn't want to read.
Please don't let us 30 year olds and younger go down in history as "The Dumbest Generation", pick up a book once a month; enhance yourself!
-Roderic
This book that I'm reading, ironically is about how our generation doesn't read books anymore. It talks about with all the technology and gadgetry that is at our disposal, we're actually becoming dumber as far as knowing history, writing, civics, politics, etc.
Teenagers actually gloat about not knowing who's running for president, but yet they know who won american idol last season. When they're confronted about this phenomenon they state "American idol is more important".
Technology is fantastic, but it's killing our abilities to write, spell, put together sentences, etc. When was the last time you actually had to find out how to spell a word? When I was younger, I had to look up words in the dictionary, now I don't even own a dictonary, except for the computer, hehe. BUT with microsoft office, you just click spellcheck and the problem is fixed. No longer do you have to proofread your essays before you turn them in you just wait for office to show you that gree squiggly line and you're that much closer to an A.
This book is hitting me twice as hard, both as a member of the targeted generation and as a black person. You know the joke that says if you want to hide your money from a black person, hide it in your books because black people don't read. Well I'm determined to break from that stereotype.
The book talks about the internet and how even with probably a million+ books at our disposal we'd rather use the internet for instant messaging, youtubing, and myspacing. There are those who claim that not reading books is just a cultural shift because things are changing, the youth's attention spans are quickening and they have no time to sit still for 2-3 hours to read a book.
You would think that all the testing and challenges academically in this generation that students would be more intelligent, but if they used the standards of measurement for intelligence for this generation that they used for the previous generation, then our IQ would be about an 80 when compared to the previou generations. What's the big difference you might ask between this generation and the previous generation? They read more, all other variables were kept constant.
It's not school and class that really makes us better writers, testtakers, speakers, it's the books. They improve vocabulary, sentence structure, reading ability, and comprehension. This is important on I don't know... the SAT, LSAT, GMAT, GRE which all have reading comprehension sections and some sort of writing section.
The crazy part is, we spend hours and hours in front of the t.v. paying money for cable and electricity when books are for the most part free at the library, and there are billions of periodicals and magazines online for free.
I'm not telling anybody this to say that i'm better or I'm such a well read individual because to be honest, I just started reading for leisure over the summer and I'm reading more and more everyday. Another sad fact is the author classified reading as any literary work, you could've read a comic book, and our generation still didn't want to read.
Please don't let us 30 year olds and younger go down in history as "The Dumbest Generation", pick up a book once a month; enhance yourself!
-Roderic
For The Guys, Who Hasn't This Happened To?
I'm not ashamed of expressing my fears and grievances with everyone, so i want to share a popular fear that people experience, but this is mostly geared towards guys.
Guys! Why do we feel so embarrassed about buying condoms from the store? I for one have experienced that anxiety and stress. It's like whenever you pull up to the drug store there's like 50 people in the store already. Then you have to walk all the way to the back where the pharmacy is, and pick out your brand, style, flavor what have you. It's not bad enough that they're all the way in the back, but they're in the open too, so anybody walking down the back aisle can see you in front of the condoms. Then once you've selected your package, you then have to walk all the way back up to the front and pay for them. God Forbid that there's a female checking you out, you have a mini panic attack standing in line, and don't let her be cute either it's like the fates conspired against you.
if you're like me, I never can just buy a box of condoms by itself. I need to buy a magazine, a soda, some chips, something other than just the condoms. I don't know I guess it takes the focus off of the condoms so much so the person ringing you out isn't just judging you for the condoms you bought. Is it just me or do you ALWAYS think the person ringing you up is judging you?
I was watching a sitcom and this guy was buying some and he was freaking out because the line was long and he had the value pack of condoms with like 24 in the pack (do they make those?) and he was trying to hide them under his coat until he got to the register. That's where the inspiration for this rant came from, in case you were wondering, lol.
Fellas what do you think?
-Roderic
Guys! Why do we feel so embarrassed about buying condoms from the store? I for one have experienced that anxiety and stress. It's like whenever you pull up to the drug store there's like 50 people in the store already. Then you have to walk all the way to the back where the pharmacy is, and pick out your brand, style, flavor what have you. It's not bad enough that they're all the way in the back, but they're in the open too, so anybody walking down the back aisle can see you in front of the condoms. Then once you've selected your package, you then have to walk all the way back up to the front and pay for them. God Forbid that there's a female checking you out, you have a mini panic attack standing in line, and don't let her be cute either it's like the fates conspired against you.
if you're like me, I never can just buy a box of condoms by itself. I need to buy a magazine, a soda, some chips, something other than just the condoms. I don't know I guess it takes the focus off of the condoms so much so the person ringing you out isn't just judging you for the condoms you bought. Is it just me or do you ALWAYS think the person ringing you up is judging you?
I was watching a sitcom and this guy was buying some and he was freaking out because the line was long and he had the value pack of condoms with like 24 in the pack (do they make those?) and he was trying to hide them under his coat until he got to the register. That's where the inspiration for this rant came from, in case you were wondering, lol.
Fellas what do you think?
-Roderic
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