Respect Yourself Ladies

This was kind of the theme for tonight, lol.

I try not to get on the ladies too much about certain things because you like to use the "women are more mature than guys" card. Which is true sometimes...but other times you ladies make me shake my head!

You have to start respecting yourself ladies, or no man will respect you. You wonder why he doesn't call you back, doesn't answer your texts? It's because he doesn't have any respect for you, time to keep it moving don't make yourself look desperate by calling him from your friend's phone to see if he answers, you're just doing too much for 1 person. Try working that hard to gain your own respect rather than some guy's.

Stop giving it up to just anyone and so easily! Women your body's are the temples. You're the one's that are desired, so stop making the chase so easy. If someone gives us a free sandwich everyday, we're gonna love that sandwich for awhile, until we see a new restaurant open up, sure it costs some money, but it's new and we know that if we don't like the food, we'll always have that sandwich, the bottom line is, we lose respect for the sandwich, which is what's happening to you ladies. Now they may not be calling you hoes and sluts as much anymore, but the next gen names are no better; jumpoff, bird, duck, etc.

Guys you don't have a reason to be upset either. I'm not trying to playa hate or block. I'm just saying, what if you have a daughter. Do you want your daughter being some dude's jumpoff? Hell no! I have female cousins. I WHOLE slew of them. I'll be damned if I let a dude disrespect them because they know that before anything else they need to respect themselves. I'm trying to just encourage the ladies to respect themselves more. Don't look for validation from a dude. Some people think nights by yourself are always lonely, well let me tell you, there's nothing lonelier being next to someone who doesn't respect you. At least if you have self-respect, you know you'll be appreciated by someone in the morning. And another thing fellas, everything you do to women comes back around 3 times. So just think about that!

So ladies just think before you act, I'm not dissing you or anything I'm just saying. It's cool to dress sexy, it's NOT cool to wear booty shorts where the booty is actually hanging out. It's cool to dance with the guys, it's NOT cool to give lap dances and hump the dude on the ground. Are you in college to be a teacher or to be a stripper?

-Think. It ain't illegal yet.

-Roderic

A Word On Confidence

Oftentimes we reach a point where we base how we feel about ourselves on what other people say about us. Like when did someone elses validation really matter? But we all do it, we feel crappy because someone said something bad about us, whether it's true or not. In reality, only one person's opinion of you should matter and that's your own. That's why we have people who everyone else thinks is "ugly" out here pulling all these women. It's because Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! And that eye should be your own. People tell themselves that they're attractive and other people start believing it. If you can portray something convincingly enough, you can get anyone to believe anything.

Confidence is the key word. Confidence goes a long way...I mean even Steve Urkel ended up marrying Laura because he was confident in himself no matter how many people put him down. (Us geeks gotta stick together!)

One thing that happens is that people get discouraged with being who they are, so they try to be someone else. But the thing is, you can't be anyone but yourself. You were made the way you were made for a reason and that makes you unique. Don't try to get breasts like Pamela Anderson, that's her role in life, not yours. I've learned to accept my flaws, and continue to accept the new flaws I discover. I know that I'm shy, I can't dance, I can't play basketball, I'm nervous, I worry, I don't have game, and most recently...I'm nearsighted. I can come to terms with these things and still love myself for what I do have and what I can accomplish. Maybe I wasn't meant to be an NBA star or a ballroom dancer or a ladies man, but I was put here for a purpose. We have to accentuate our positives and stop focusing so much on the negatives.

NOBODY is perfect, perfection does not exist in the human race that's why there's the saying NOBODY is perfect, meaning that there is no BODY that is perfect. What makes up a body? Head, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, legs, feet, toes, fingers, butt. There is no perfect breasts! People who say that someone has the perfect personality...well what's inside the head? The Brain and what does the brain help establish? personality. If the brain is inside the head and the head ain't perfect, then that means there isn't a perfect personality either!

The moral is, no matter how other people view you, the battle starts at home. You have to win the battle with yourself before you try to overcome anybody else. Your mind can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy depending on ho confident you are. And I know how hard it can be. I still struggle with confidence, but I'm getting better at it, and I think people are noticing my changes a little more, which in turn makes me more confident. If you keep it positive, it'll continually grow.


Well that's enough for tonight!

A Recurring Dream Inspired This Rant, Hilarious!

Okay, here's the premise for this rant. A couple of month ago I had a dream where I went out on a blind double date with some friends of mine (not real life friends, dream friends). They set me up with this girl named Heather. She was a really cool girl and very career driven and I thought we had a good time, but we never spoke again after the date. Last night I had a dream and guess who my "dream friends" invited along for a dinner run?? Heather! Now I'm in the dream all pissed off because me and this girl don't really like each other and here we are again out together. What makes it even worse is that my "dream friends" who are b/f and g/f sit at a two person table forcing Heather and I to sit by ourselves. Well of course Heather doesn't like me so she pulls up a chair to the two person table making me feel like an idiot because I was actually looking for another place to sit.

Anyways, all four of us are at the two person table and Heather and I aren't talking at all. Well I'm not, I'm busy munching on some chicken, bacon sandwich (Good taste even in my dreams!) I believe one of my "dream friends" asked Heather how come she doesn't come hang out anymore. I dunno why they asked her that! She launched into this tirade about how she's sooooo career driven and she doesn't have time for fun. She doesn't have time for guys because all they wanna do is play around and play video games and have babies. And she wants to be where she would be at age 32 by the time she's 26 or something like that. I took this as a direct offense and I put my chicken sandwich down and here's what I said to her (not verbatim of course, I don't remember everything, I added a bunch of thoughts from when I woke up) and I will say this to all the other "Heathers" out there!

Why can't you have it all?? Nobody is saying you can't be successful in the world, but you can't forget to enjoy your life. When you look back at everything you've accomplished, do you want to be the person who never went out to eat with her friends or couldn't play around with her friends? Why be so uptight and stubborn? Loosen up sometimes. There's nothing wrong with having fun. I know some women criticize some guys for playing video games or watching cartoons and things like that. Have you ever played a video game?!? They're incredible! Have you ever watched Looney Tunes as an adult?! You pick up on so much crazy stuff, like how Pepe Le Pew is the horniest cartoon character in the world, he never gets any. Enjoy yourself, don't get all pissy at your man if he throws you in the water at the beach... as long as he has the money to get your hair done over, no problem!

You only have one life, and I know that tomorrow isn't promised, but when you look back on your life would you rather have spent that time secluded away from society, constantly focusing on what you're going to do when you get older, and plotting on how to reach that plateau? Or would you rather have spent that time enjoying your life while getting to where you want to be in life? No wonder it's hard out here for successful women to find men. Some of you have forgotten how to have fun (I know it's not only women, some dudes are stick in the muds too, but that's another note). You look at any attempt to be silly and funny as being childish. I say who the hell said you can't act silly and goofy when you're an adult? Children these days are acing grown as hell, so why can't adults get in touch with the kid inside of them? It's okay to get excited about going places, I still get antsy when I go to Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion. I think women grow up too fast, that's why our little girls are fast in the pants because they wanna be grown. You wanna be where a 38 year old is when you're 25, but can you handle a 38 year old woman's responsibilities? Some can, others haven't had enough experiences to get to that point in life.

And stop calling guys who like to have fun "not a real man". Nobody wants to hear that. I look at it like this, as long as the guy takes care of his business and goes to work on Monday morning. Let him have fun! Maybe you should join him, it might improve your relationship.

The motto of this note isn't to discourage you ladies from chasing your dreams because you definitely are on the right paths, I'm just saying, quit being soooo overprotective about it. "no man is gonna stop me from reaching my goal". I'm not trying to, I don't know what foolish man would try to stop you, we just wanna pull you out of that bubble and get you to experience a different side of life for a few hours, we'll put you back in the bubble when the night's over, lol.

WOW! All that from a dream!

Good Men Aren't Hard To Find You Just Don't Know Where To Look

I hear this saying so much, that everytime I hear it, my blood pressure goes up. "Good men are hard to find".

Good guys aren't hard to find there's just so much pressure and stereotyping going on that's its hard for a good guy to prove that he's a good guy.

For one, some ladies have their priorities mixed up. Some, not all focus too much on the physical and the material, instead of looking at a persons spirit. If a guy is a hard worker and treats you like the queen that you are, why the hell does he need to drive a Benz? Or make 6 figures?

I understand that for some ladies, these are their "standards" and they don't want to "lower their standards" and I'm not asking you to, just to prioritize because I know some good dudes that work everyday 9 to 5 in a warehouse that'll treat you better than a dude who makes mad money and drives a brand new car.

Some Women are being way too unforgiving lately. I know its that whole "I'm independent and I can do bad all by myself" movement and Beyonce and Keyshia Cole have made it popular to diss dudes, but that's music, not real life. In real life, guys make mistakes, ladies make mistakes and just because a dude makes you upset doesn't mean you should dump him or treat him like dirt. Some women and men too...are quick to ditch someone they really care about over a petty argument. This tyler perry generation makes me sick. It was bad enough with Waiting To Exhale, now Tyler is exploring the extremes of manhood with his movies. Either the man is the flawless, knight in shining armor or the scum of the Earth, no in between. And some women believe what they see in movies and what they hear in songs. What sucks is that most guys are in between. So a negative move on the guys part equates to being scum.

Some ladies think that they need a guy equal to them as far as education and income. While it may be true that men make more money than women, more women than men are graduating from college so the opportunities for vast income are better for women. Not every guy is going to be a college grad like you and not every college grad is a good man. Some of the cruelest men are men who work in corporate America. Some women make it hard for guys. Not everyone can afford college, just because a man isn't college educated doesn't mean he's not intelligent and can't match your intellect. I know dudes that never set foot in college that know more about the world and life than me.

I feel like I've said all these things before...

This is my opinion though, you never hear guys complaining that there are no good women around because I think (this doesn't mean its a fact) that men are more accepting and women are more judgemental. So I say ladies, take a man's advice for once "Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man" - Steve Harvey

So...How Much?

This is going out to all those people out there who sag their pants. The kids I work with were visited by a police officer who did that scared straight kind of presentation. One of the ladies was particularly annoyed with the kids sagging their pants so she asked the cop to tell them where that started. He proceeded to tell them where sagging your pants originated.

For those of you who don't know, it started in prison and its a signal to other inmates that you're sexually available. He said that what's even funnier is that he tells the kids what it means and they STILL do it. Is it cool to imitate prison behavior? Because if you want to be in prison, its easy enough to get there.

So why is the trend of sagging pants so popular in such a homophobic society? You'd think that fad wouldve died, but no because rappers do it, ironically a good portion of rappers have been to jail...do you think they sagged their pants in prison? I bet the waistline of their pants met the waistlines on their body, either that or they had Big Bubba breathing on their neck.

I'm particularly irritated by this consistent ignorance. So I make it my business to ask the kids I work with "how much?" When I see their pants sagging. They pull them up quick, fast, and in a hurry. I understand these rappers make everything cool, but there are some things that are just destructive to us as a people and that is one of them. So I ask all you young guys out there, now that you know what sagging means (in case you didn't see above) will you still sag your pants? If so why??

Inquiring mind wanna know..

My remedy..ask "how much" and see how quick the pants come up, don't do it to some stranger though, don't wanna end up getting shot or something... Its just a PSA for you people who are as tired of this trend as I am.

Ever Wonder Why This Is A Man's World?

This is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothin without a woman.

Do you ever wonder why?

I had this moment of clarity where I have the majority of my moments, in the bathroom. However, this time I was taking a nice, hot, steamy shhh...ower.

Look at the world, everything is given to men. We get paid more, better jobs all because we're men. People assume we take care of the household just because we're men. Everything is given to men, which is why this is a man's world. The only thing that isn't given to a man just because he's a man is a woman. That's why this world wouldn't be anything without you.

Men have conquered damn near everything, but one mystery still exists, women. We don't know what you want, don't know how you think, don't know what to do with you or without you. All we know is that we want you. A woman isn't going to be yours just because you're a man. You have to have something going for yourself. You don't necessarily need to be a baller or a doctor, just have something that sets you aside from other men. This is where the world gets complicated.

It's not that men don't appreciate women it's just that we don't understand you and having everything at our fingertips is a luxury, so when that luxury is taken from us, it frustrates us. Have you ever been trying to figure out a difficult math problem and you get so frustrated that you take your book and fling it across the room? That's kind of how men deal with women. When things are difficult and we don't understand, we fling you across the room. However, when we calm down and realize that if we had taken time to actually read the chapter before we jumped to the questions (a little metaphor there), that the answer would've been clear all along.

Us men, we try to hide what we're feeling because we're so used to being on top of the world that we can't take it when we're not so we bury our feelings. We'll move on to another subject that we know we're good at. We'll try to do our history, but you don't think that in the back of our minds we're still not thinking about how much of a loser we feel like for not being able to figure out that math work? Well we do.

I still don't know how to figure out that math problem, but you know what? I haven't given up.

Just my random rant, showers bring out the best in me.

Amazing How The Weather Can Affect Our Emotions

Its funny how the weather effects the way we feel. When the weather is sunny and bright, we feel good, we want to go places, we like to smile. However, the contrary exists when the weather is bad. We feel bad, we get down, we remember all the bad times. Its no accident that its always dark and gloomy in movies whenever there's a funeral or a breakup. The weather helps capture the mood and in the process our mood is captured and transformed. Its amazing that people can have the exact same events happen to them and they'll rate the sunny day as a "better day" than a rainy or gloomy day.

Its not a coincidence that most people break up in the winter time and new relationships start in the spring.

Wow...as I'm sitting here in my car typing this Angie Stone's song "my sunshine has come" just came on the radio. That's such a feel good song, but listen to a song like "rain on me" by ashanti or "I wish it would rain" by the temptations and you feel down.

Why do we regard the rain as such a negative event. I love the sound of the rain and I find lightening fascinating.

Even though I am aware of the effect the weather has on my mood, I still fall victim to the circumstances. I feel gloomy when it rains and energetic when its sunny. Its probably one of those mysteries about humans that we'll never understand.