Emotions of the greatest mystery of mankind. It's something that will never ever be solved because emotions defy logic and reason.
We know that it is not okay to murder people, but something triggers our basic instincts when we see someone we love making love to someone else and we snap. That's what people call "crimes of passion". There are no logical reasons to kill someone who is cheating on us.
Emotions are dangerous which is why there are counselors and therapists out there to help people manage their emotions and express them. Emotions can be like diseases, people have had heart attacks over divorces. If you let emotions sit inside you and burn up your insides it can be just as fatal as having cancer. When people are having a stressful day, the body releases cholesterol to lube up the body and make it loose just in case we have to fight or make a hasty get away. However, when this cholesterol sits for days and days it turns into bad cholesterol which can clog your arteries, which can cause death. So holding your emotions in, is like eating a pound of grease.
People always want to learn stress management techniques, but they don't want to learn ways to reduce the amount of stress they can handle. They want to be able to maximize their stress threshold so they can handle more and more stress. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Why not reduce your threshold for stress and be able to get rid of the little bit of stress that you're carrying instead of being able to pile on stressor after stressor. Eventually you'll run out of space to store your stress and that can be dangerous!
So this is my public service announcement for all you people out there. Do not hold in your feelings of anger, shame, resentment, fear, and embarrassment. Let them out, even if you're only talking to a stuffed animal. Just don't hold in those emotions because it can lead to really severe illnesses.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Story To Tell: Trying Too Hard
I got a story to tell. The story is one that many of us can relate to.
The story is about a guy who has just met a girl whom he is trying to impress. He's very careful to manage his temper, ensure that no explicit songs pop up on his mp3 player while they're riding in the car, and makes sure not to try to say anything to offend the young lady.
The first one is rather simple because he likes the girl so the things she says or jokingly talks about the wrinkles in his clothes he can brush off. The second and third prove to be the greatest testament of all time. As soon as he gets into the car and turns on the radio the most disrespectful, misogynistic song comes on and it's not one where you can catch it before the cursing starts, it's one of the songs that comes on like F*CK B*TCHES!! So in a nervous laugh, he quickly switches to the radio where at least he can blame the radio station for playing a random song. It seems like everything this guy says only seems to irritate and annoy this young lady, even though the guy thinks he's screening his language so that it's more user friendly, he actually comes off like he's arrogant and stiff which serves to push her away.
The guy is a decent guy, but the woman says that they clash, quickly trying to plead with her that he's not trying to offend her, they re-establish rapport. He disregards any and every negative jab at his character and agrees with everything she says as to not start conflict. Then it dons on him... why is he trying so hard?
This guy goes through hell to try to please the young lady and it still is like he's moving in reverse with her. That's when he comes to the conclusion that women don't need men.
Have you ever gotten angry with your g/f fellas? Doesn't it seem hard to get angry with her because you kind of feel like she's gonna be like whatever and not speak to you again, so you take it... you take the nagging, the annoyances, and the irritations. You even agree to things that you normally wouldn't, all because you're trying to stay on her good side.
Fellas, tell your girls if you don't agree with her or if something she does bothers you. Rather it be out in the open now than to wait until it boils over and turns into a huge argument over nothing. Stress kills, no point in causing more stress in your life. So fellas tell ladies what's on your mind. If she can't appreciate it, then no point wasting time pretending that everything is A-Okay might as well keep it pushing.
-Roderic
The story is about a guy who has just met a girl whom he is trying to impress. He's very careful to manage his temper, ensure that no explicit songs pop up on his mp3 player while they're riding in the car, and makes sure not to try to say anything to offend the young lady.
The first one is rather simple because he likes the girl so the things she says or jokingly talks about the wrinkles in his clothes he can brush off. The second and third prove to be the greatest testament of all time. As soon as he gets into the car and turns on the radio the most disrespectful, misogynistic song comes on and it's not one where you can catch it before the cursing starts, it's one of the songs that comes on like F*CK B*TCHES!! So in a nervous laugh, he quickly switches to the radio where at least he can blame the radio station for playing a random song. It seems like everything this guy says only seems to irritate and annoy this young lady, even though the guy thinks he's screening his language so that it's more user friendly, he actually comes off like he's arrogant and stiff which serves to push her away.
The guy is a decent guy, but the woman says that they clash, quickly trying to plead with her that he's not trying to offend her, they re-establish rapport. He disregards any and every negative jab at his character and agrees with everything she says as to not start conflict. Then it dons on him... why is he trying so hard?
This guy goes through hell to try to please the young lady and it still is like he's moving in reverse with her. That's when he comes to the conclusion that women don't need men.
Have you ever gotten angry with your g/f fellas? Doesn't it seem hard to get angry with her because you kind of feel like she's gonna be like whatever and not speak to you again, so you take it... you take the nagging, the annoyances, and the irritations. You even agree to things that you normally wouldn't, all because you're trying to stay on her good side.
Fellas, tell your girls if you don't agree with her or if something she does bothers you. Rather it be out in the open now than to wait until it boils over and turns into a huge argument over nothing. Stress kills, no point in causing more stress in your life. So fellas tell ladies what's on your mind. If she can't appreciate it, then no point wasting time pretending that everything is A-Okay might as well keep it pushing.
-Roderic
Our Purpose
What is our purpose? Why are we placed on this planet called Earth? Why were were chosen to be human instead of antelope or a blade of grass?
Some people think that humans have such a great and wonderful reason for being placed on this planet. Call me pessimistic, but I don't really think so.
When we are born we start to die. This isn't just for humans, it's for all living things. There is no expiration date and yet many of us live our lives like there is some great light at the end of the tunnel. What if you weren't meant to be that doctor or lawyer, that's just where you ended up, but your real purpose was to give change to the homeless man at 7-11 when you were 19 years old?
What if it was that man's purpose to be a dog to you so you'd learn to respect yourself as a woman and find that guy that was truly right for you?
What if your purpose was to have that one child by the abusive husband?
I'm saying this... nowhere does it say we have to leave a legacy behind directly with our lives. What if the bum you gave the 1 dollar to used it to buy a lottery ticket and won 10,000 dollars, enough to feed his family and find a decent place to live.
What if the baby you gave birth to from the abusive husband grew up to become the next president of the united states?
I'm saying that to say this, we don't always have to leave our stamp on this world, sometimes it's the littlest things that will yield the biggest benefits. Don't think that you have to be the greatest whatever in the world. Do what makes you happy and when you discover your purpose on the world, embrace it, don't run away from it.
This has been a Roderic Williams Public Service Announcement!
Some people think that humans have such a great and wonderful reason for being placed on this planet. Call me pessimistic, but I don't really think so.
When we are born we start to die. This isn't just for humans, it's for all living things. There is no expiration date and yet many of us live our lives like there is some great light at the end of the tunnel. What if you weren't meant to be that doctor or lawyer, that's just where you ended up, but your real purpose was to give change to the homeless man at 7-11 when you were 19 years old?
What if it was that man's purpose to be a dog to you so you'd learn to respect yourself as a woman and find that guy that was truly right for you?
What if your purpose was to have that one child by the abusive husband?
I'm saying this... nowhere does it say we have to leave a legacy behind directly with our lives. What if the bum you gave the 1 dollar to used it to buy a lottery ticket and won 10,000 dollars, enough to feed his family and find a decent place to live.
What if the baby you gave birth to from the abusive husband grew up to become the next president of the united states?
I'm saying that to say this, we don't always have to leave our stamp on this world, sometimes it's the littlest things that will yield the biggest benefits. Don't think that you have to be the greatest whatever in the world. Do what makes you happy and when you discover your purpose on the world, embrace it, don't run away from it.
This has been a Roderic Williams Public Service Announcement!
What's Wrong With Men?
I hear this question all the time from women, since I'm usually dubbed the eternal "platonic friend" women like to pick my brain sometimes in hopes of unlocking the mystery of a man's rationale.
I always get the question, "Rod, why are all men dogs?" First off, you're being inclusive when you ask that question, and if I attempt to answer it, I'm just reinforcing the fact that you basically just asked me why am I a dog too. Hell, I don't know why guys fool around, they've been doing it since before I was born and they'll likely continue after I'm gone and I bet there are one million different reasons why each man has fooled around. Not saying that it's right, but there's no simple solution to the question.
"Rod how come men are afraid of commitment?" Aha! Finally a question I can partially answer. Now I'm not speaking for all men, but from my experiences, this is what I've come up with. Different people go through different stages of life at different moments. Just like they say women mature faster than men, (which I believe is some BS but that's a completely different note, lol) and this is known so instead of being patient ladies what do you do? You try to overrationalize the situation, attempt to entice us with offers, and generally persuade a guy to do something when maturity wise, he may not be there yet. Not saying that a guy is less of a man because he's not necessarily ready to commit, we just take longer to get to that phase. Think of it like math classes. Some people progress through math at different times. While yall might be flying through the math classes Algebra I no problem, Algebra II, no problem, Geometry no problem; we might get caught up in Algebra I and might have to take longer to reach Geometry. Guys have a very long adolescent phase, and it's a fun time. Whereas yall might be ready for marriage and kids at 22, we might be ready for a girlfriend. And it's not that guys are afraid of commitment, we're just not trying to mess up a good thing. Like hey, we've been going out for over a year and it's beautiful, but now you wanna move in together. There are plenty of things that could spoil the good times we've had by moving in together and believe or not ladies were actually thinking about you when we don't rush into big commitments like that because we don't want to mess things up by jumping into something before we're actually ready.
"Rod, how come he acts like he doesn't care when I'm upset?" Okay, half the time we don't even know when you're upset. We ask, "what's wrong?" and most of the time yall will say "nothing". So we're thinking, okay, whatever, she said nothing. If something is wrong ladies, do us all a favor and TELL US! We don't read minds. We don't completely understand female body language. So make it easy on yourselves and the guys by just telling us your side. And don't start off by being accusatory, because then we'll get defensive and it'll turn into an argument. Guys don't like to argue, believe it or not. That's why we're like screw it, you wanna leave, there's the door. That's another issue too. Don't threaten to leave a guy when you're having a petty argument. I'm at the point now where I'll say... hey if you wanna leave, then leave and don't come back 3 hours later talking about "can we talk" because I gave you free reign to express yourself and YOU chose to say nothing so don't get upset with me. So the short answer to that question is, it's not that we don't care, it's just that you don't come off very sympathetic. We want to care, we'll sit down and listen to your side and try to process what you're saying. Just don't come at us like everything we do is wrong wrong wrong because who the hell wants to hear that about themselves constantly?
Now I may be playing devil's advocate, but these are the questions you ask, so don't be mad at the answers you hear, if you didn't wanna know, you shouldn't have asked.
I always get the question, "Rod, why are all men dogs?" First off, you're being inclusive when you ask that question, and if I attempt to answer it, I'm just reinforcing the fact that you basically just asked me why am I a dog too. Hell, I don't know why guys fool around, they've been doing it since before I was born and they'll likely continue after I'm gone and I bet there are one million different reasons why each man has fooled around. Not saying that it's right, but there's no simple solution to the question.
"Rod how come men are afraid of commitment?" Aha! Finally a question I can partially answer. Now I'm not speaking for all men, but from my experiences, this is what I've come up with. Different people go through different stages of life at different moments. Just like they say women mature faster than men, (which I believe is some BS but that's a completely different note, lol) and this is known so instead of being patient ladies what do you do? You try to overrationalize the situation, attempt to entice us with offers, and generally persuade a guy to do something when maturity wise, he may not be there yet. Not saying that a guy is less of a man because he's not necessarily ready to commit, we just take longer to get to that phase. Think of it like math classes. Some people progress through math at different times. While yall might be flying through the math classes Algebra I no problem, Algebra II, no problem, Geometry no problem; we might get caught up in Algebra I and might have to take longer to reach Geometry. Guys have a very long adolescent phase, and it's a fun time. Whereas yall might be ready for marriage and kids at 22, we might be ready for a girlfriend. And it's not that guys are afraid of commitment, we're just not trying to mess up a good thing. Like hey, we've been going out for over a year and it's beautiful, but now you wanna move in together. There are plenty of things that could spoil the good times we've had by moving in together and believe or not ladies were actually thinking about you when we don't rush into big commitments like that because we don't want to mess things up by jumping into something before we're actually ready.
"Rod, how come he acts like he doesn't care when I'm upset?" Okay, half the time we don't even know when you're upset. We ask, "what's wrong?" and most of the time yall will say "nothing". So we're thinking, okay, whatever, she said nothing. If something is wrong ladies, do us all a favor and TELL US! We don't read minds. We don't completely understand female body language. So make it easy on yourselves and the guys by just telling us your side. And don't start off by being accusatory, because then we'll get defensive and it'll turn into an argument. Guys don't like to argue, believe it or not. That's why we're like screw it, you wanna leave, there's the door. That's another issue too. Don't threaten to leave a guy when you're having a petty argument. I'm at the point now where I'll say... hey if you wanna leave, then leave and don't come back 3 hours later talking about "can we talk" because I gave you free reign to express yourself and YOU chose to say nothing so don't get upset with me. So the short answer to that question is, it's not that we don't care, it's just that you don't come off very sympathetic. We want to care, we'll sit down and listen to your side and try to process what you're saying. Just don't come at us like everything we do is wrong wrong wrong because who the hell wants to hear that about themselves constantly?
Now I may be playing devil's advocate, but these are the questions you ask, so don't be mad at the answers you hear, if you didn't wanna know, you shouldn't have asked.
The Dateable Rules: For The Ladies
Okay, so I started reading this book called "the dateable rules" and its about how men and women interact when they date and blah blah. So the beginning of the book starts off by saying the guys should ask the ladies 5 questions that they wanna know about women and vice versa. So I shall once again open up the floor to the ladies to ask 5 questions to me and I'll answer them. I will also ask my 5. Here they are:
1. If guys think about sex every 5 seconds, how often do women think about sex? And do you enjoy sex as much as men do?
2. What is your definition of a "good man" and a "dog"?
3. How come you don't like other women?
4. Can men and women just be friends? And would you date any of your male friends?
5. Do you think we'll ever understand one another? Why or why not?
I have others, but these questions will suffice. So let's hear those answers ladies!
1. If guys think about sex every 5 seconds, how often do women think about sex? And do you enjoy sex as much as men do?
2. What is your definition of a "good man" and a "dog"?
3. How come you don't like other women?
4. Can men and women just be friends? And would you date any of your male friends?
5. Do you think we'll ever understand one another? Why or why not?
I have others, but these questions will suffice. So let's hear those answers ladies!
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Story To Tell: A Night Out With My Split Personality
That's right I had a schizo moment. A moment in time where I felt like I had a second personality. One mind says it loves you while the other mind is busy plotting on the young lady in the black leggings and purple top.
I try to resist the urge to approach this lady, but my second personality is telling me how much I want and need her. My other personality's name is Richard, but he likes to call himself Dick. I'll never call him that...
Me: "But what about the woman I love?"
Rich: "What about her? If your love was as strong for her as you let on, we wouldn't even be having this conversation".
I'm telling this story because it seems like many men seem to have this disorder. You see we are born with two heads and even though only one of them has a brain, the other one is determined to get some brain. However, no matter how scholarly one head becomes, we cannot seem to outsmart the other head. And so the conversation continues...
Me: "Why do you always do this, you know we're committed!"
Rich: "WE? You Mean YOU committed, I was just there to seal the deal, I have a bigger question though. Why do you always resist? You try to act civilized and proper, when I know you better than you know you. This is what you want and it's what you need, so let's go for it, I got your back!"
So against my better judgement I engage the foxy purple cladded mistress, and in her drunken stupor, she mistakes my nervous smiles and stuttering speech as a swagger filled compliment fest, much to the joy of my other personality! The night ends when she's introduced to my "other half" and although he does have a way with women, I sometimes wish he'd shut the hell up!
After the deed is done, there is silence, like the woman's body was a temporary fix for my condition even though I know after a sandwich and a nap, he'll rear his ugly head once again. For the moment, I begin to relax because there are no words from Rich. However, it seems that fate dealt me a two-seven off suit after I went all in because at that moment, the door bursts open and in walks the love of my life, but it seems like she too has a split personality because the warm, loving person whom I adore, is cold and hard... much like the blade that fits so snugly into her hand.
Me: "Honey wait! It wasn't my idea! It was Rich's Fault! Tell her Rich!"
Now the once bold and blaring Rich was as quiet as a mouse and once again, left me holding the "short end of the stick". F*ck! Richard, you did it to me again... At this time, I'm standing there; eyeing the silver blade in my love's hand, when a funny thing happens, a smile comes across her face.
Love: "Oh... Richard huh? Well I have the cure for your split personality... just think of me as the therapist and this knife as the medication, this will be a brief therapy, it'll only be one session and trust me, when you leave this room, you'll only have ONE personality to worry about."
The Doctors did all they could, but Rich was pronounced dead at 3:02 A.M.
R.I.P. Richard
-Roderic
I try to resist the urge to approach this lady, but my second personality is telling me how much I want and need her. My other personality's name is Richard, but he likes to call himself Dick. I'll never call him that...
Me: "But what about the woman I love?"
Rich: "What about her? If your love was as strong for her as you let on, we wouldn't even be having this conversation".
I'm telling this story because it seems like many men seem to have this disorder. You see we are born with two heads and even though only one of them has a brain, the other one is determined to get some brain. However, no matter how scholarly one head becomes, we cannot seem to outsmart the other head. And so the conversation continues...
Me: "Why do you always do this, you know we're committed!"
Rich: "WE? You Mean YOU committed, I was just there to seal the deal, I have a bigger question though. Why do you always resist? You try to act civilized and proper, when I know you better than you know you. This is what you want and it's what you need, so let's go for it, I got your back!"
So against my better judgement I engage the foxy purple cladded mistress, and in her drunken stupor, she mistakes my nervous smiles and stuttering speech as a swagger filled compliment fest, much to the joy of my other personality! The night ends when she's introduced to my "other half" and although he does have a way with women, I sometimes wish he'd shut the hell up!
After the deed is done, there is silence, like the woman's body was a temporary fix for my condition even though I know after a sandwich and a nap, he'll rear his ugly head once again. For the moment, I begin to relax because there are no words from Rich. However, it seems that fate dealt me a two-seven off suit after I went all in because at that moment, the door bursts open and in walks the love of my life, but it seems like she too has a split personality because the warm, loving person whom I adore, is cold and hard... much like the blade that fits so snugly into her hand.
Me: "Honey wait! It wasn't my idea! It was Rich's Fault! Tell her Rich!"
Now the once bold and blaring Rich was as quiet as a mouse and once again, left me holding the "short end of the stick". F*ck! Richard, you did it to me again... At this time, I'm standing there; eyeing the silver blade in my love's hand, when a funny thing happens, a smile comes across her face.
Love: "Oh... Richard huh? Well I have the cure for your split personality... just think of me as the therapist and this knife as the medication, this will be a brief therapy, it'll only be one session and trust me, when you leave this room, you'll only have ONE personality to worry about."
The Doctors did all they could, but Rich was pronounced dead at 3:02 A.M.
R.I.P. Richard
-Roderic
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right. Interesting Theory, But Do We Follow It?
We're all told that two wrongs don't make a right, but in what instances is this philosophy implied.
In English a double negative (two wrongs) make a positive (right).
In Math, it's the same concept, two negative signs equal a positive sign.
Most Science is based off of math so technically some of the same rules apply here.
Physics states that for every action there is an equal, but OPPOSITE reaction, meaning that if someone wrongs you, you're supposed to equalize their wrong with a positive reaction.
Historically we bomb and attack people after they attack us. i.e. Pearl Harbor lead to Hiroshima & Nagasaki and 9/11 lead to the "War on terror".
The taking of a life is morally wrong, but we do it to justify the lives we lost... does that make it right?
So when do we use this rule? In our daily lives? That's funny. Most people live by the "eye for an eye" creed which is basically justifying negative behavior for a negative behavior in order to "set things straight".
It's funny how when we're the one's on the receiving end of the second wrong, meaning we've already wronged someone and it's time for us to get ours, we spew "two wrongs don't make a right" in order to guilt trip the person into not retaliating.
Then again.. there's also another saying, all is fair in love and war. You want to know why they hold love and war in the same standard? Because they're the same! If you're in love with someone, you know what war really is like.
I brought that up to get to my bigger point. The only time we wrong someone or are wronged by someone else is in Love and in War, so if everything is FAIR in love and war that'd make the claim "two wrongs don't make a right" null and void right?
-Roderic
hope I didn't confuse you.
In English a double negative (two wrongs) make a positive (right).
In Math, it's the same concept, two negative signs equal a positive sign.
Most Science is based off of math so technically some of the same rules apply here.
Physics states that for every action there is an equal, but OPPOSITE reaction, meaning that if someone wrongs you, you're supposed to equalize their wrong with a positive reaction.
Historically we bomb and attack people after they attack us. i.e. Pearl Harbor lead to Hiroshima & Nagasaki and 9/11 lead to the "War on terror".
The taking of a life is morally wrong, but we do it to justify the lives we lost... does that make it right?
So when do we use this rule? In our daily lives? That's funny. Most people live by the "eye for an eye" creed which is basically justifying negative behavior for a negative behavior in order to "set things straight".
It's funny how when we're the one's on the receiving end of the second wrong, meaning we've already wronged someone and it's time for us to get ours, we spew "two wrongs don't make a right" in order to guilt trip the person into not retaliating.
Then again.. there's also another saying, all is fair in love and war. You want to know why they hold love and war in the same standard? Because they're the same! If you're in love with someone, you know what war really is like.
I brought that up to get to my bigger point. The only time we wrong someone or are wronged by someone else is in Love and in War, so if everything is FAIR in love and war that'd make the claim "two wrongs don't make a right" null and void right?
-Roderic
hope I didn't confuse you.
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